Trying this out Need your opinion

heres the overall plan of what u do

Make a list of reasons why u think u are autistic.

include blood relatives in your family who are autistic or adhd or called weird/different

and a list of occasions when u have been called weird, autistic, different

the list should be electronic ie so you can email it to anyone who wants it.

you're doing this sort of thing already so thats good 

Hello, and thank you for reaching out on the forum.

I agree with Dawn (and others). The only logical course of action to take is to undertake an official ASD assessment.

Otherwise, whatever you feel or think, or whatever anyone else says, will always remain squarely in the domain of conjecture.

This website and the NHS website has clear instructions on how to get an autism assessment  and on pre-diagnosis support:

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/autism/getting-diagnosed/

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/pre-diagnosis/adults

Stay well, and good luck!

Hi Nero,
I certainly recomend persuing a professional assesment.  It can take a while so be prepared for a patient wait, but asking for others to diagnose you on the inernet isn't always helpful as sometimes that can make things worse for you.
I was in a similar situation, however I was always told I was dyspraxic.  After a series of episodes that didn't seem related to my "label", I set about a professional diagnosis (as it turns out the Dyspraxia one was not ever completed in full).
Yes I looked about on forums and websites and although I met the "key criteria", I would always second guess and think "Am I really like that/ Or do I just think I'm like that?".
I actioned a diagnosis via my GP as to be honest, my life was becoming unbearble and I needed answers and confirmatioin.  After two years, Yesterday I finally got a full (positive) diagnosis and I really feel it's one of the best things I ever did.  It explains so much and also helps me understand myself and how others see me so much better.
I urge you to try and stop getting yourself axious over this and request a diagnosis from a professional.  I had mine done under the NHS using PSICON and I cannot recomend them enough.  They've been incredible.

Now that you mention it, I wish I had clarified a few things. My counsellor says I have OCD traits because of repetitive movements, skin picking to the point of bleeding, ritualistic behaviours, anxiety, and repeating words occasionally. By trouble processing some thoughts I mean someone will tell me something to my face and It’s like I hear the words but sometimes it takes seconds to process. More or less with certain things. I appreciate you going through the list and writing the differences for what it’s worth. 

1-Find joining in conversation difficult: Yes

2-Small talk is difficult: Yes

3-Can’t carry conversation: I try to don't always succeed.

4-Speak in flat monotone voice: No

5-Repeat myself when saying things on occasion: Rarely

6-Excessively pursue my interest of guns and knives and talk about it when I can: Not guns but other things

7-Don’t make eye contact with most people: Yes

8-Make up words and phrases and say them randomly: rarely

9-Have difficulty multi tasking: depends on the tasks.

10-Trip over everything, drop things randomly: No

11-Skin picking-stimming: no

12-Move muscles in pattern: yes

13-Tap out patterns with finger: yes

14-Like working and doing things alone: working yes, other thing not so much

15-Didn’t graduate school: got a degree, a masters and a phd

16-Previous contact with mental health professionals: yes, I approached them.

17-See patterns and numbers everywhere: patterns to some extent,

18-OCD traits: too vague to respond.

19-Almost no empathy: No, I sometimes have difficulty with sympathy ... there is a difference

20-Trouble processing certain thoughts: too vague to respond

21-Don’t like sticky things-textures: yes

22-Sometimes seem rude: yes

22-Mom says if I’m not interested in something I start to tune out: yes

23-Don’t like people walking to closely behind or friendly patting on the back: depends on the person

24-Won’t eat leftovers: depends if i like the food.

25-Good at arithmetic: no very bad

26-Bothered by random noises sometimes: depends

27-no friends: less than I'd like.

Hi Nero,

Thank you for posting your concern. And I'm glad to see a number of kind responses here  You may also find the following information helpful,

You may like to look at our information about autism spectrum disorders:
https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/what-is-autism

If you were interested in finding out if you are on the autism spectrum, you would need to have a formal diagnostic assessment. You may find it useful to have a look at the following link for further information about diagnosis and the benefits of getting one:

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis

Furthermore, it is important the professional you see has experience of autism spectrum disorders. You can find details of diagnostic services on our Autism Services Directory in the Assessment and diagnosis section: http://www.autism.org.uk/directory.aspx

If you have further questions, you may like to contact our Autism Helpline team. They can provide you with information and advice about getting a diagnosis. You can call them on 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Friday 10 am to 3 pm. Please note that the Helpline is experiencing a high volume of calls and it may take a couple of attempts before you get through to speak to an adviser.

Hope it helps, and welcome to our community!

All the best,

Eunice Mod

Sounds like you do need a proper assessment.  Personality disorders and OCD might or might not be in the mix, or it might be that one or other of these things is being misinterpreted because there is an issue with ASD. But however they try to treat you, it might not be the right thing for you if there is ASD which isn't recognised.

Can you print and keep the online questionnaires you did?  Sounds as though you are in the US, so a different system from the UK, but showing those to your family doctor might help kick start the process of getting you to see someone to assess you who won't be dismissive.

I hope your fiance is supportive.

I heard a quote once that said perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood. Looking it up I see It’s from 1984. I’m sure this is the wrong context to use it in but I have felt misunderstood my whole life. I’m getting married soon and I don’t have anyone to be my best man. I feel like I just want to finally have my traits understood by someone other than practically suffering alone. Maybe have someone say oh that’s why he’s that way. I can only imagine what they say behind my back. I can understand what you’re saying though mael. Why focus on it when things have been going well already? I wish I had a good answer 

Hopefully I did this right and didn’t post this paragraph 5 times 

If you really like her and she likes you, do you need to put a label on  your self.  Some times putting to much emphasis on one part can detract from the whole. After all there is still so much debate over autism .

I am sort off looking at stuff as a guide to understanding ,not an expression of who i am.

Looking at your list, I can identify myself with items:

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 9, 14, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 22, 23, 25, 27