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Struggling slightly!!!

asbergermum2011

Hi everyone,

My son was diagnosed with Aspergers in 2011. He is now 10 and is becomming more and more of a challenge at home. I am a single mother of 3 and he is my eldest. I think a lot of the changes in his behaviour are associated with hormones but with the aspergers thrown into the mix it is beccoming increasingly more difficult to communicate with him. he is angry most of the time; his tendancy to blame everyone else for him getting into trouble has gone to a new level, he frequently burst into tears and generally feels that no one is listening to him. He will often blatantly lie too so when he is being listened to he will get in trouble for not telling the truth.

I just feel like I am losing control and am struggling to be patient and understanding. Its like there is always something and i dont want to constantly tell him off or punishing him, yet i dont want him to feel like its ok to behave so badly. I feel awful because he seems to be so miserable - unless he is playing Fifa Wink - but am really unsure of how to deal with him???

  • Thanks for the comments, I really felt better once I had a bit of a rant on here! I then started to look for ways to communicate with him. I have come across blob tree a few times and found it to be a really simple yet powerful way of identifying and discussing emotions and feelings. I printed one out with some questions and went through them with him. i was amazed at how well he responded and also felt like we really connected for the first time in ages! We now spend ten to fifteen minutes at the end of each day looking at our blobs and I think it really benefits both of us!

  • From remembering about what it is like to be ten, though not male. Your son probably honestly believes that other people are trying to trip him up and get him into trouble. We do not understand things the way that non- autistic people understand things, so we can constantly get the wrong end of the stick. I do not know when I am being teased verbally- I understand it as an attack and it feels painful. We are also gulliable and once tricked we do not see the humor and never trust that person again.  

    Just as you are asking why is he doing this, he will be asking why are you reacting the way you are- it is like we are speaking the same language but at a totally different angle. Can you find an interface which is neither AT or NT in origin which you can agree meanings to.

    What I am trying to say is could you use a simple sign language such as simple BSL or ASL which signs for emotions, feelings, commands and manners are understood by both of you in addition to your normal communication, thus allowing you both to clarify with the other how you feel and calming your interactions down