Hello there

Alsy said:

Firstly, I want to mention that I am not native English speaker, so there may be mistakes in the text below. I am mostly fine with the language, but I can easily get carried away and forget that grammar exist, please don't mind it too much :)

Secondly, and far more importantly, I am not even sure if I'm supposed to be here. I don't have an official diagnosis, though I am pretty confident when saying that I am indeed on the spectrum. Is this fine in this place?

Yes it is fine in this place ~ and most other places too as a lot of the struggle involved with being autistic is getting referred and then dealing with waiting to be assessed, which can take anything from several months to several years. 

Alsy said:

Then we spent two more minutes discussing how adults can't be diagnosed, especially those who have finished school. The therapist also implied that the autistic person I talked to didn't exist, because it wasn't possible for her to get diagnosis later in live. I've honestly had a meltdown right after the appointment (though I was glad it was such a short one), but now it is mostly funny. But, however much I can laugh at the opinion of the man, this conversation nonetheless convinced me in what I had suspected before" I am not getting a diagnosis until I move out from this country to a one with better understanding as mental health. 

The only truth to the adults cannot get diagnosed with Autism state of affairs ~ involves the obvious classic 'severe' and 'moderate' social support requiring types of autism (Kanner's Syndrome) that are obvious from childhood, whereas low social support types of Autism (Asperger's Syndrome) involve the ability to socially camouflage and personally mask one's Autistic tendencies ~ which is extremely exhausting or tiring for most, is although difficult to diagnose ~ none the less diagnosable in adults. I was for example diagnosed at 45 years of age, and the oldest I know of was a lady in her early eighties or nineties.

Due to the Covid-19 virus thing, a lot more people are being assessed on line over the internet by video-link ~ if you have not considered that perhaps?

Alsy said:

The understanding that I am different from the most of people in how I think was painfully obvious throughout my whole life, even before I found a name for it. Autism explains it. It explains everything. And the explanation... it allows me to understand myself and to hate myself less. With it, I know why I never could fit in, I know that it's not my fault, that it doesn't mean I'm a terrible person who seems to make other people leave me... With it, I am just different from some people -- and similar to others. With this, the biggest desire of my life, to be normal at least somewhere, can be fulfilled. 

After I got diagnosed I read The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome, by Tony Attwood, as it covers every developmental stage of childhood through to and during adulthood also and explains most things, so maybe give it a read and see if it enhances your self awareness and helps make more sense of things for you possibly. It certainly helped me to feel that my normality was natural ~ and then coming here and communicating with others really helped also.

A lack of social facilitation, identification and affirmation does tend to leave one hungering and thirsting for some autistic like-mindedness.

Alsy said:

(Telling this to people who knew me was especially funny. My mom just said that she thought I could have a diagnosis, but didn't want me to, because it could be problematic for my future. My friend (who knew me for only six month) told me he thought about it before, but considered rude to mention. My cousin said she doesn't care, but she can't be counted, she's an elf, of course she doesn't care about human's diagnosis (If I'm on the spectrum, she's pretty much here with me, though, and she agrees with it), but thinks I am obviously different from other people. It is just funny how they all somewhat knew it while I was sure that I'm doing good at pretending to be normal.)

Being diagnosed can be rather problematic most particular for people who have to revaluate how they have previously judged and treated (or even mistreated) you, and can even be rather dismissive if that revaluation does not come easily. Also if you do not have laws protecting you from discrimination ~ discrimination can certainly follow the moment after you mention you have autism, but basically whether you disclose having a self-diagnosis or a medical diagnosis of autism or not ~ just knowing what is actually what by way of a diagnosis can certainly make managing things so much more viable. 

Alsy said:

Okay, I've no idea what I want to do with this message. I want the question answered, sure. And... to talk? With someone from here. I, if we are to ignore my cousin, have talked with one autistic person, and she was the most kind and understanding person I've ever met. And the one who seemed to weirdly get thing like being annoyed with the loud noises and sleeping on the floor because my couch has the fabric I hate touching. It was... strange. But nice. Maybe I can find a friend here, huh? I'd be really glad to try :) 

I so know what you mean about the hypersensitivities to particular things ~ with specific materials such as for instance Denim or other such course fabrics like canvas, as anything next to my skin has to be soft and smooth, but not too smooth like silks as they make me cringe and give me a sense of the "heebie-geebies" involving the disgust reflex. All my clothing is super-soft comfy and baggy loose fit, with labels often having to be removed or they irritate my skin.

I incidently cover my two couches with comfy fabrics, as they are not themselves to liking colour-wise or in the touch sensitive sense either. My greatest sensitivities are to smells and textures, and I really have problems with public toilets, the smell of dogs (particularly when they are wet) and chemical perfumes and deodorants.

In regards to friends I treat everybody as either bing a brother from another mother, a sister from another mister or a blend of both, most particularly if they are Autistic, Elven or whatever else in terms of being Neurologically Divergent (NT) or at least other worldly :-)

Welcome to this community Alyona, your written English is really good  and I hope you have a really good time here, and that it leads onto many many more! :-)

Alsy said:

Firstly, I want to mention that I am not native English speaker, so there may be mistakes in the text below. I am mostly fine with the language, but I can easily get carried away and forget that grammar exist, please don't mind it too much :)

Secondly, and far more importantly, I am not even sure if I'm supposed to be here. I don't have an official diagnosis, though I am pretty confident when saying that I am indeed on the spectrum. Is this fine in this place?

Yes it is fine in this place ~ and most other places too as a lot of the struggle involved with being autistic is getting referred and then dealing with waiting to be assessed, which can take anything from several months to several years. 

Alsy said:

Then we spent two more minutes discussing how adults can't be diagnosed, especially those who have finished school. The therapist also implied that the autistic person I talked to didn't exist, because it wasn't possible for her to get diagnosis later in live. I've honestly had a meltdown right after the appointment (though I was glad it was such a short one), but now it is mostly funny. But, however much I can laugh at the opinion of the man, this conversation nonetheless convinced me in what I had suspected before" I am not getting a diagnosis until I move out from this country to a one with better understanding as mental health. 

The only truth to the adults cannot get diagnosed with Autism state of affairs ~ involves the obvious classic 'severe' and 'moderate' social support requiring types of autism (Kanner's Syndrome) that are obvious from childhood, whereas low social support types of Autism (Asperger's Syndrome) involve the ability to socially camouflage and personally mask one's Autistic tendencies ~ which is extremely exhausting or tiring for most, is although difficult to diagnose ~ none the less diagnosable in adults. I was for example diagnosed at 45 years of age, and the oldest I know of was a lady in her early eighties or nineties.

Due to the Covid-19 virus thing, a lot more people are being assessed on line over the internet by video-link ~ if you have not considered that perhaps?

Alsy said:

The understanding that I am different from the most of people in how I think was painfully obvious throughout my whole life, even before I found a name for it. Autism explains it. It explains everything. And the explanation... it allows me to understand myself and to hate myself less. With it, I know why I never could fit in, I know that it's not my fault, that it doesn't mean I'm a terrible person who seems to make other people leave me... With it, I am just different from some people -- and similar to others. With this, the biggest desire of my life, to be normal at least somewhere, can be fulfilled. 

After I got diagnosed I read The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome, by Tony Attwood, as it covers every developmental stage of childhood through to and during adulthood also and explains most things, so maybe give it a read and see if it enhances your self awareness and helps make more sense of things for you possibly. It certainly helped me to feel that my normality was natural ~ and then coming here and communicating with others really helped also.

A lack of social facilitation, identification and affirmation does tend to leave one hungering and thirsting for some autistic like-mindedness.

Alsy said:

(Telling this to people who knew me was especially funny. My mom just said that she thought I could have a diagnosis, but didn't want me to, because it could be problematic for my future. My friend (who knew me for only six month) told me he thought about it before, but considered rude to mention. My cousin said she doesn't care, but she can't be counted, she's an elf, of course she doesn't care about human's diagnosis (If I'm on the spectrum, she's pretty much here with me, though, and she agrees with it), but thinks I am obviously different from other people. It is just funny how they all somewhat knew it while I was sure that I'm doing good at pretending to be normal.)

Being diagnosed can be rather problematic most particular for people who have to revaluate how they have previously judged and treated (or even mistreated) you, and can even be rather dismissive if that revaluation does not come easily. Also if you do not have laws protecting you from discrimination ~ discrimination can certainly follow the moment after you mention you have autism, but basically whether you disclose having a self-diagnosis or a medical diagnosis of autism or not ~ just knowing what is actually what by way of a diagnosis can certainly make managing things so much more viable. 

Alsy said:

Okay, I've no idea what I want to do with this message. I want the question answered, sure. And... to talk? With someone from here. I, if we are to ignore my cousin, have talked with one autistic person, and she was the most kind and understanding person I've ever met. And the one who seemed to weirdly get thing like being annoyed with the loud noises and sleeping on the floor because my couch has the fabric I hate touching. It was... strange. But nice. Maybe I can find a friend here, huh? I'd be really glad to try :) 

I so know what you mean about the hypersensitivities to particular things ~ with specific materials such as for instance Denim or other such course fabrics like canvas, as anything next to my skin has to be soft and smooth, but not too smooth like silks as they make me cringe and give me a sense of the "heebie-geebies" involving the disgust reflex. All my clothing is super-soft comfy and baggy loose fit, with labels often having to be removed or they irritate my skin.

I incidently cover my two couches with comfy fabrics, as they are not themselves to liking colour-wise or in the touch sensitive sense either. My greatest sensitivities are to smells and textures, and I really have problems with public toilets, the smell of dogs (particularly when they are wet) and chemical perfumes and deodorants.

In regards to friends I treat everybody as either bing a brother from another mother, a sister from another mister or a blend of both, most particularly if they are Autistic, Elven or whatever else in terms of being Neurologically Divergent (NT) or at least other worldly :-)

Welcome to this community Alyona, your written English is really good  and I hope you have a really good time here, and that it leads onto many many more! :-)

I cannot stand the feel of silk either, I find it slimey.