• Replies 2 replies
  • Subscribers 68 subscribers
  • Views 580 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Newly diagnosed daughter

Kirstieb

Hi

My daughter has been recently diagnosed.  She is 8 years old and I have been "fighting" her corner for over 6 years when I first thought that "things were not right".  I am a mixture of emotions at the moment - relief, that she has now got a diagnosis and will be getting the support she needs but also masses of guilt. 

Although I honestly felt that she was autistic, before her official diagnosis, at times I wondered if she was just being a brat.  She can, more often that not be extremly violent to both me and her younger brother and I often found myself shouting at her and dealing with her "bad" behaviour.

I am sure I will get over those feelings and want to move forward to make sure my daughter has a happy fullfilled life.

 

  • Hi Ohallright (love that!!!)

    Thank you so much for your lovely response!  It is SO amazing to be able to speak to other parents who "know" what its like. 

    My little girl Rhiannon has for the past week and a half, been "okay", weekends are always very trying for her so not so good today!  I will take all your advice on board and try really hard to try and do more for me - its going to be a challenge lol!

    There was an incident today where 2 girls from the neighbourhood were so BLATANTLY nasty to her when she walked out the front door (she didn't know they were outside) - honestly, it took so much self control on my part not to go and knock there heads together!

    Anyway, just wanted to thank you for your kind words and advice!

    K

     

  • Yes of course you will learn to deal with your feelings.  You are a very special mum! I have been talking with a lady in Australia who wrote a book called davids gift.  I bought it as I did not feel ready to share my feelings openly with others and wanted to understand first if how I was feeling was OK and acceptable.  It was like reading my life story in part and boy did it help me put things into perspective and allow me to acknowledge where in this journey I am.  I think, just like losing your first parent you have to grieve and then to accept.  I also then think from reading this book that it is then you are on the real first step of a journey, with lots of ups and downs to come for the rest of your life.  I am feeling we are making a little headway but I know this is a life long road and I am learning to stand back and just take things as they come.  It is good that we can share our feelings and know this is all normal for us parents.  There is a saying which says "Who councils the counsellors?" which is quite true.  It is all fair and good to be a practitioner in these fields yet to live day in day out with a child who can be angry, suicidal, depressed, excitable, challenging etc, it is another matter altogether.  I have had a relatively good week, day so far with my son.  Next week it could be like the week before this week - who knows?  I have joined a gym recently as I realise after reading this ladys book that I must take care of both my physical and psychological wellbeing in order to support my son effectively.  When did you last book yourself in for a back massage or something!  Make this a new years resolution and then look at how you as a family can begin to plan ways of adapting your behaviour to help her and also finding family and quality time to just chill and embrace her differences.  Well - I have just had to build a lego Star Wars model which took us three whole hours!  Hows that for focus skills of a 6 year old!  I think I will open up a school of LEGO seriously - this is the best thing ever for kids with Autism and you can also use this skill to teach them maths as many of the books that come with the model have instructions on how many of each piece you need!  Take care.