Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone,
I would really appreciate your opinion please. I have had a therapist and GP say I have ASD, but no formal diagnosis. Apparently that's as elusive as matching socks. I've just been on a 3 day research binge and I no longer know which way is up. In your opinion is self- identifying acceptable? I honestly don't know if it would make me a fraud or others would see me as a fraud. All I've ever wanted is to just make sense of myself and find a place where I feel I belong. I would really appreciate your thoughts, right now I have too many of my own. Thank you
On the flip-side, I know a number of people who claim to be self-diagnosed autistics - including my sister-in-law - she's an attention seeking narcissistic nutcase who has every fashionable problem going - but she's not consistent with her stories so just looks stupid.
There's also the army of benefit fakers who try try on with the DWP - anything that cannot be directly measured (like missing a leg) is faked these days, especially autism.. It makes them very suspicious of us and complicates our PIP applications.
I have some attention seeking family members, they make me sick. I would never disclose anything to them, they would jump on it immediately. I understand what you're saying about fakers, and now I'm thinking I do need that diagnosis. I honestly don't need any benefits, nor do I want any for the sake of it. That should be for people who need the support. It's about me understanding and helping myself. At the same time I wouldn't want anyone to think I was a fraud.
Hi Dickie, sorry but for some reason I can't directly reply to you. I'm happy that you've found things make a lot more sense for you, they do for me also. As you said like a mist has cleared. Completely understand why you're not seeking a formal diagnosis, sometimes it's enough that you know. It was a therapist who told me, quite bluntly. I don't mind though. I don't NEED to have a diagnosis, it's just that I'm afraid that I've finally made sense of myself but have that niggling fear of what if I'm wrong and I am just weird, with a flawed personality. I move between self acceptance and doubt. I think it's because I always have to have definitive answers, yes or no, I don't like grey areas, even if I believe them to be true.
Hi Pikl, it has taken me 67 years to find out that it is highly probable, almost certain, that I have been living with level one ASD all my life. I have been in therapy for a number of months because lockdown has accentuated some of the traits that I have always found to be annoying and frustrating. Last Wednesday I was talking to a friend who is probably level two and also has paranoid schizophrenia. We have spoken a lot over the last year but it suddenly clicked with me that, although we have wildly different world views, at least some of our approaches to life felt familiar. So, I did the usual thing - went on line and did a test. Then I did another and another and they all came out the same. I raised this, rather tentatively, with my therapist last Friday and she agreed with my self-diagnosis. She has thought this from our first session but didn't want to raise the subject because it is not always welcome.
Like you, I feel like a bit of a fraud at the moment, but I won't bother seeking a diagnosis because at my age it would be a waste of time. However, knowing that it is highly likely that I have ASD is an enormous relief. Things suddenly make sense, with one or two exceptions, and it's like a mist clearing.
Thank you! That's a great way of looking at it. I will probably swing between wanting the diagnosis and not needing it, with varying degrees of obsession, but that's me.
You could think of your autism as a religion - something you don't discuss with anyone but it's a way of living that gives you peace.