Published on 12, July, 2020
Met a guy on a dating app, he's super sweet and good looking and he was really open and honest with me about his autism and ADHD diagnosis.
I've never dated someone with autism before and I know nothing about autism other than a few vague facts.
I know it's a spectrum but any advice or knowledge you guys can share would be great.
My main questions are:
Is it "normal" for people with autism to form attachments super quickly?
Are there any general communication techniques or tips? I have found having to constantly reassure this guy to be really draining.
How do I stop them from getting overwhelmed?
So sorry if these are offensive questions.
I'm just trying to understand this guy better.
In relationships, there's always a play-off with people's individual strengths.
He's sweet, he's open and he's honest, and probably that's quite rare. On the other hand, his need for reassurance is draining.
If you're open to put in the work to understand him, and to reassure him along the way, those afforementioned good characteristics will continue to be a real boon.
Some of us can form attachments very quickly. This is well within bounds of normal with those of us with autism. Quick attachment can come with good long-term commitment.
How to prevent him getting overwhelmed? Talk to him and together, you can learn the triggers and situations that can lead to being overwhelmed. He'll probably have a decent idea of what sensory things tend to overwhelm him. For quite a few of us, high emotions can also overwhelm some of us. Depending how old he is, he may or may not know which sort of emotional situations tend to overwhelm him (if this is the case).
Understanding is a wonderful thing and stays with oneself for life.