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New here :)

sarah2403

Hi my four year old son has just been diagnosed with autism. 

it was quite a shock to the system my partner and I just thought he was slow with his speech but after almost 2 years he has finally been diagnosed. 

its all very new to me and I would be very greatful for other parents and careers for advice and if there are group meetings where I can meet parents with children with autism

  • lolly said:

    Im looking after my 4yr old grandson who has been diagnosed with ASD, we are having terrible problems with stamping, hitting & spitting he has also become very destructive, we have tried everything to chastise him but nothing is working, has anyone else had any experiences like this & if so how did they deal with it & did it stop?

    Chastising him almost certainly will not work.

    Bribes probably will.

    The reason for this is that we on the spectrum are often reward motivated.

    So it's better to say "If you don't do X you'll get Y" rather than "Don't do X or you won't get Y".

    Punishments rarely work with us.

  • hi lolly - do you know why your 4 yr old grandson is stamping, hitting + spitting? If you can find that out then it may help you to help him with his behaviour.  Does he talk and/or understand what's being said to him?  Behaviour will deteriorate if something's  upsetting him, whether at home or elsewhere, such as routines being disrupted or sensory issues (if he has them) such as certain noises, smells, etc. There may be info/advice via the home page which may help.  If you cd let us know the action you take to try + stop this behaviour, perhaps posters cd be of more help.  With my son I found that a raised voice wd make him worse, that at a v young age he did not appreciate why certain behaviours were unacceptable.  Patience is key!  

  • Hi Crystal 

    thankyou for that. I am hoping to learn as much as i can about autism, so i can understand and i can explain to my family and friends. There has been a statment put in place for him for school were just waiting to hear back to see if he qualifies for it which hopefully he should be now that he has been diagnosed.

  • Im looking after my 4yr old grandson who has been diagnosed with ASD, we are having terrible problems with stamping, hitting & spitting he has also become very destructive, we have tried everything to chastise him but nothing is working, has anyone else had any experiences like this & if so how did they deal with it & did it stop?

  • hi - welcome to the forums.  There are lots of posts on here about parents + their feelings upon getting a diagnosis, so if you haven't already, have a look around.  Also have a look on the home page, as there's loads of info.  You can't learn everything at once, so don't try...take it in bit by bit, bearing in mind how autism affects your son as an individual.....everybody's different.  I know you need to adjust to the diagnosis + that takes time but when you're ready you shd consider getting a statement of educational needs.  This shd help your son to get whatever support he may require in school.  In the end he's the same little boy he was before the diagnosis but now he has been diagnosed you both can be of even greater help to him by understanding him better.  There's lots of time so give yourselves some of that + you'll get used to things at a rate that suits you + him.  bw  About grp mtgs - if you let posters know your locality or do a check on the home page, then that may prove helpful.  bw with everything