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New and confused

melmumofwills

Hi everyone, well I supose i better start at the begining my son (just turned 8) has had issues since well birth. though back then it was the perfect baby sleeped well dident cry for attention was happy left to his oun devices, see perfect baby, notning like his sister who is just 19 months older, who at the time was a screaming tantuming attentiond seeking brat, only she wasent a brat shes deaf and it took till she was 4 to get help for her and with server postnatal depresion it took all my strenth to fight her corner, so my poor son got left a little buy the way side :(

well till he dident grow out of putting things in his mouth, hiding whenever someone he dosent like comes near, having tantrums lie a wirling derbish over the strangest of things ( like once when a colour change lolly pop changed colour) and would only play or speak to other children if he was the boss telling them how to move what to say those tantrums again if they dident do as they where told, so i asked for help and was told my childeren are will dressed well fed and well manered and we dident need help 

over the year things have gotten worce ( though thanfully now better again)

Like the time when i had to drage him off my door handle over my sholder the 100 yards to school an he cracked my ribs and i was told i got him to school ok so we where coping fine and dident need help

and the time we hasd to go to A&E becaues he had chewed his wooden bed and got splinters in his mouth I was told buy him ammetal one problem solved !

the final straw cam when he threw a drill my dad had been using down the stares missing his younger brother and ending up with it in my leg, at this point i amashamed to say i smacked him ( only onece and i dident lave a mark) and imediataly phond sotial serveces and hystericaly begged for help and was yet agan told we dident need help

so that day i sat in my gps surgery untill he would refer us to some one any one that would help which he did this was over a year ago and we have been then refered to the team that will give us a diagnosis and we are looking at another 6 months befor we see them.

so like i said I'm confused where do i get help? 

sorry its such a long post thanks for reading x

  • hi - what a long battle you've had.  You're a good mum.   At least you've been referred now.  Yes, a diagnosis can take a long time.  I do wonder why it has to take as long as it does, but that seems to be the way.  Suppose some of it's down to financial resources and probably because it's just the way they do things.  You ask where you get help.  Well those who will assess your son will ultimately be of help to you but it does seem an awfully long weight.  I'd keeppushing them for a quicker time scale, either in person or via your gp, or even your mp.  Keep the pressure up.  In the meantime you shd check out this site, inc the posts, because there's a massive amount of info here which you can put to use while you're waiting.  Once you get the diagnosis you shd then ask for a statement of educational needs so your child can get more help at school.  I wd expect that you would also be allocated a social worker.  You shd also be able to claim DLA for your child, maybe even the other one with the deafness as well, if you haven't claimed already.  Also you cd apply for a carer's assessment via your gp or sw so they have to take your needs into account as well as those of your child.  You can claim carer's allowance as well.    bw