Hello from a newbie waiting for a diagnosis

Hi

I am new member to the forum, although I am no stranger to the NAS website. I am 49 years old and was referred by my GP for a diagnosis last September, so I guess I am in for a quite a wait, which no doubt will be further extended due to the coronavirus pandemic.

I have always felt different, and always thought of myself as being odd, but as you grow up, you tend to comply with what is expected of you and just suck it up and carry on. I suffer with bouts of depression and anxiety/panic which come and go in waves, but looking back on my life, the worst episodes all seem to have occurred at times in my life when I have been placed in situations for lenghty periods, which I am not comfortable with. I've never been a people person, and quite frankly, I am happier when I am on my own.

I have completed the AQ test which was linked to from this website, and scored fairly high for autism due to my traits, so I know in myself that I am different, and I am proud to be so. However, I experience the following. Is this normal, as sometimes I feel that I am going mad?

• I get ideas in my head that I must be making the traits up, so I am full of self-doubt, even though I know deep down that I experience these things
• I struggle with people understanding how I feel, and that they just don't believe me
• I feel that I live in a different world to others, and that it doesn't how much I speak, nobody is listening to me
• I suffer from OCD, but others look at me as though I am strange
• I struggle with being with other people for periods of time, even if it is family, and I am sure that people think I am being antisocial

I could go on and on, but these are the main problems I encounter along with the other challenges that I have.

I look forward to reading about other peoples' experiences on these forums, and hope that I can get some reassurance myself from like-minded individuals.

All the best

Pen Fold