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Hello and help?

swiftey90
over 4 years ago

Hello, I'm Sam, I'm 29 years old and a Male. I have not been diagnosed with ASD or any similar traits thereof. I have lived my life feeling different and constantly 'stupider' and 'weirder' than my peers for lack of a better term. I had a bit of a melt down prior to work a month or so ago and I called in sick, and following this spoke to some friends and family about everything and it was pointed out that I have traits to Autism, something my parents always thought but for some reason never chose to follow it up with a doctor. I have spent the past month researching every paragraph and watching every video and I feel I fit in to 'high functioning' ASD with chameleon, or camofluaging, traits as I have spent the majority of my life covering up my eccentricities once they had been recognised, to appear more normal. The issue is I am deathly afraid of being wrong, always. I cannot find any literature on males camofluaging Autistic traits, it seems very much agreed this is a female thing. I am scared of approaching the GP in case they say 'no you're wrong, this isnt this, there isnt anything wrong' because I dont feel settled with that answer

Can anyone help? Does anyone have any answers or experiences the same as mine as an adult male?

Many thanks 

Parents
  • over 4 years ago

    Welcome, Sam.

    I'm a male, diagnosed a few years ago in my mid-forties, and very much a "social chameleon" autistic, as are many other males whom I've spoken to since my diagnosis. In fact, there was a topic only a short while ago (LINK) discussing the stereotyping of autistic presentation by sex or gender, and the danger that, if taken too far, it could lead to the exclusion of "chameleon" males (or "non-chameleon" females and non-binary autistics). There is enough research to confirm the general trend, for sure; but the true picture is far more complex and poorly researched, and masking is only one coping strategy among many, which may be employed to different degrees according to personality or circumstances.

    From what I can tell, masking in males has much the same consequences as for females too - a tendency to be "people-pleasers", problems with anxiety and depression, a wobbly sense of identity, and periods of "burn-out" where the strain of keeping up the mask finally results in severe exhaustion and possibly the shutting-down of mental functions or melt-downs. Many of us have been through multiple cycles of burn-out and picking ourselves back up again as far back as our school years.

    So if your other traits are consistent with autism, your masking should not exclude you from a diagnosis, should you seek one - and that's a topic which you can get a lot of good advice about here. And diagnosed or not, you'll be made just as welcome here; it's a really friendly and supportive little community - indeed, it's benefitted me immensely since I started my own journey of discovery.

    Best wishes.

Reply
  • over 4 years ago

    Welcome, Sam.

    I'm a male, diagnosed a few years ago in my mid-forties, and very much a "social chameleon" autistic, as are many other males whom I've spoken to since my diagnosis. In fact, there was a topic only a short while ago (LINK) discussing the stereotyping of autistic presentation by sex or gender, and the danger that, if taken too far, it could lead to the exclusion of "chameleon" males (or "non-chameleon" females and non-binary autistics). There is enough research to confirm the general trend, for sure; but the true picture is far more complex and poorly researched, and masking is only one coping strategy among many, which may be employed to different degrees according to personality or circumstances.

    From what I can tell, masking in males has much the same consequences as for females too - a tendency to be "people-pleasers", problems with anxiety and depression, a wobbly sense of identity, and periods of "burn-out" where the strain of keeping up the mask finally results in severe exhaustion and possibly the shutting-down of mental functions or melt-downs. Many of us have been through multiple cycles of burn-out and picking ourselves back up again as far back as our school years.

    So if your other traits are consistent with autism, your masking should not exclude you from a diagnosis, should you seek one - and that's a topic which you can get a lot of good advice about here. And diagnosed or not, you'll be made just as welcome here; it's a really friendly and supportive little community - indeed, it's benefitted me immensely since I started my own journey of discovery.

    Best wishes.

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