Hello, just introducing myself

A belated welcome from me.

As Plectrum said, our social anxieties don't just disappear when we're online, and my welcome is belated as I've only just returned from a spell away from the forums to recharge my batteries a bit after getting in a bit of a tizzy about obsessing too much about what I post and how much time I spend here.

Just Me said:

I’m not sure what the norm is in terms of replying individually to comments etc

As it's an autism website, we don't really do "normal". People's communication habits and language skills are extremely diverse, so we're generally a pretty tolerant crowd, and if someone is getting a bit impatient, someone will usually pop in to remind them of this.

When individual replies are awkward because you've had several responses, there are a couple of other ways that you can address specific members. To insert a quote (like the one above), just select the text that you want to quote using your mouse, and a little button will pop up allowing you to insert it into your reply. You can also "mention" someone by typing the '@' character followed by their name (a little "autocorrect" style list pops up to help you find the name that you need). In both the cases the forum member will get a notification so that they know you responded (if they have that feature enabled).

Best wishes.

 I continue to get waves of anxiety that make me retreat after a spell of posting, but that is probably because this is the most social thing I do and I'm still learning to manage how quickly my batteries run dry after a spell of activity.

One tip i learned: you can only edit posts for a while and it seems not delete them after someone has replied, due to thread parent/child node dependencies. So if there is some stuff that is more private , put it in your profile and you can change that from time to time, and if you ever want to leave you can erase what is on your profile or refresh it. And no one can see your profile without an account. 

If you post something and really want to backtrack, you can edit the post afterwards for a couple of weeks ( I haven't worked out exactly how long). Now that I know, it seems I'm less in need to actually doing it because it was the anxiety more than the real need. I have only posted, regretted  and deleted once, and made a few edits along the way (mostly fat finger corrections )

Hi Aidie, thanks for your reply, it’s nice to meet you, and thanks for the image of a dance-off between two Shitz Tzu’s, I really needed a laugh today (my dog has been quite ill lately). I have a lab/collie cross, pretty much just a big black hairy dog who I love beyond belief. 

I think you’re quite right about pacing myself, I have a terrible habit of taking on more work than can reasonably be handled. I’m getting some support from psychology services to advocate on my behalf and liaise with the university regarding reasonable adjustments so I’m hoping that will make things a little easier.

Thanks again for the welcome! Hopefully I’ll see you around here on the forum! 

Hi Plectrum, Thank you for your reply and making me feel welcome. I understand what you mean about excessive worrying over social media and posting to forums - really wish I’d seen your reply sooner because as soon as I introduced myself I panicked about over-sharing, the response I’d get, how I came across...etc...etc. Everything in my brain just started yelling “retreat retreat retreat’ - which I did, but found myself back here anyway! This is the only form of online socialising I participate in, I cut Facebook and other social media out of my life years ago, I don’t really miss it, and my mental health is easier to maintain without it, but not using it has sort of contributed to feelings of isolation and loneliness, maybe it’s about finding a balance.

Hi Desmond79. Thanks for your reply, I’m sorry mine has been a bit late. I’m from NI too so it’s nice to see a few others on this forum from the same area. I’m not from Derry or the surrounding area, I’m based in a different city, but it’s still comforting to know there are others out there. It’s also nice to hear that you are managing to fend for yourself, especially since I’m going to be in a similar situation at some point in the future. I have only one younger sister, and although I still have my grandparents and parents, they are all in pretty poor health and I worry a terrible lot about them and dread the day I find myself without them all. I suppose I’m really just wondering if you have any advice on how to deal with such losses and operate without the support network?

Hi everyone, thank you for replying. I panicked a bit after posting to this forum and retreated a little so I’m only seeing these responses. Now that I’ve seen how friendly everyone is, I realise how unnecessary all that worrying was! I’m not sure what the norm is in terms of replying individually to comments etc, especially since it’s been a few weeks since I logged on, but thank you all for the warm welcome and sharing a little about yourselves. I look forward to chatting with you here. Thanks for making me feel welcome.

its good u are now commiicating with us here, You are so welcome. We all look forward to what you have to say. It sounds like you need to pace yourself in regards to your PHd studies. I book holidays ( 1 day )  regularly spaced out over my year so I get regulat breaks. My teamlead also reminds me to take my leave which is good.  I also taught myself meditation which has reduced my weekly shutdowns. 

I love dogs with a passion. I have never been without one my entire life. Currently I have a very bossy Shitz tsu dog who has no patience at all. He is so funny. He doeas a funny "dance off" when he meets other dogs which they dont undertand. Only another SHitz Tsu understands the "dance off"challenge,.Then there is pandemonium :) as 2 Shitz Tzus try to out dance each other.  Anyways see u later soewhere in this forumn.

Hello, welcome to the forum! I also used to browse before creating my own profile. I found it quite daunting to register as a user, because I get very troubled by social media and previously made myself ill obsessing over replies. I didn't even post much.  I never seemed able to figure out whether a post I made was going to generate a warm or hostile response (even whether a response meant something other than it implied) and whether it was my fault. I'm not a deliberately provocative person but I am sometimes a bit hyper when I'm excited.

Anyway, I am determined to get better at it or get over my obsessive anxiety.  

I have ventured in now, and finding people to be incredibly friendly, warm and thoughtful.  And funny. 

Welcome!

I found University waste of time, with hindsight, and wished I had gone straight to work at sixteen. Whenever I was young, I was told I had the world at my feet, but hid in my room and struggled whenever I did find work.

Burnout, plus mental health issues, really dragged me down. See if your local NAS branch has a social group. That might boost your confidence.

I also live on my own, my parents and grandparents are all dead - and my brother is undergoing his final semester of study at Uni in Derry. The scenario isn't ideal for me, but I'm learning to fend for myself.

Good that you have a dog. Unconditional love.

Hi NAS65399, thanks for reading and responding. It will be nice to chat with other females on the spectrum, I don't think I've ever met one before. I hope you don't have to wait too long for your assessment, I've heard mixed things about the waiting times but everyone seems to be in agreement that its a frustrating experience. Fingers crossed things will move quickly for you! 

It's great that you are working on building your confidence I hope the forum further helps you with your experiences. I like animals and enjoy gaming, anime, movies, and going for walks. I'm female in my late 20s and am waiting for my assessment. I'm happy to chat if you want to. Good luck with your PhD!