I don't have a diagnosis but I feel like I may have aspergers. I just want an opportunity to talk with people and sort out my thoughts. I just went over a check-list of symptoms for female person with asd and it was uncanny how I could relate. I am having a hard time believing that all these years I have been thinking and acting differently from the rest of the humans! What do I do now?!
I have an inner dialogue in my brain constantly telling me how to act and what to say. I analyse my experiences with people over an over trying to see if maybe I offended or acted like a putz. I do not enjoy talking on the phone and will not answer if it's an unknown number. I cannot read a map to save my life. I have been guilty of constantly mirroring my life to other people's. I have to organize everything. If it gets disorganized I will feel overwhelmed and ignore the mess but I tend get depressed as a result. Crumbs in my bed drive me mental. I don't like being a hypocrite and hold myself accountable. I cannot lie comfortably but I do over exaggerate (but then I have to correct myself because it still feels like a lie.) I look at my past as if it was a book with chapters labelled "who I was that year." I look at pictures of my past and feel like it was a previous life and I am a new person. Like a phoenix reincarnating every time I have a shift in my life.
Okay so telling you all that, I was led to this self realization because of my son. My son has been red flagged for autism by every person who knows anything for the past year. He is currently in a program in preschool for speech therapy and on the waiting list for a diagnosis.
I am afraid I am just going to be passed off as a Mom who is just over reacting. I have a bad habit of being a hypochondriac and I think I have cried wolf too often and my word means nothing. I have self diagnosed myself with dyslexia, depression, anxiety and have been diagnosed with ADD.
I don't know how to go about telling my boyfriend. Should I be frank? Should I tell him to read the list I read with out telling him what it is until after? I am unsure of how he will react, I am unsure of the succession of things to come after I open this can of worms. I am getting anxiety just thinking about it. What do you think? What did you do?
So I am certain with all I've read so far that you've heard all of this time and again. I hope I am not being redundant.