After a 2 year wait I was recently diagnosed, and it is taking some time to adjust to it, such a mixturte of different feelngs, relief, regret, avoidance, disbelief, but mainly just relief. It wasn't just that I was weird all my life, there was a recogniseable, distinct, pervasive difficulty and there always has been. It wasn't that I didn't try hard enough, it wasn't that I was lazy, or just didn't want to mix with people or do a 'normal' job, but there are other more positive things too...the synaesthesia type experiences I have had, sensitivities to energies, my being drawn to workshops and groups where I could learn to make eye contact, to hug and enjoy physical contact, and many many more things I can now begin to place as to why I did this or why I was interested in that, or why I would have my own version of a meltdown. Thank you to the community for existing and hi to everyone. I look forward to learning and understanding more/
Welcome! A lot of people with ASD are perceptive in this way. I haven't looked at academic literature, but Rudy Simone (author of Aspergirls) claims that a lot of people with ASD report a 'sixth sense' when it comes to reading people. We don't pay attention to the usual social cues which perhaps allows us to perceive people in a different way.
Responding to a diagnosis can bring up a mixture of lots of different feelings. By joining a forum like this I hope you can gain more insight into what a diagnosis means for your identity, making sense of your past and planning your future.
sometimes when a certain person walks past me my hackles go up. i get a cold shiver and my hairs stand on end. like that?
Yes similar. I just attended a weekend at a retreat that ironically enough involves a lot of spontaneous hugging - I held out from going there for years as I knew this was what went on, but 6 years ago persuaded myself to go, and it's been difficult and challenging each time but now I can do it. With some hugs, I can pick up a feeling from the person that isn't of me, it might be slightly to do with smell, but it's more an inner feeling, a bit like a vibration that I can feel.
why would you do that to yourself?