Mom of undiagnosed son with Asperger's i believe, struggling to help him.

Hi, my son, who is early 20's, is on antidepressants and not working at the moment. I believe he has Asperger's as he displays alot of the symptoms. I did make an appointment with a specialist in the hope of a diagnosis, but he wouldn't go. Says he wants to sort it himself, he was referred by his doctor for counselling, but i think he has only been assessed, he hasn't taken it further and won't discuss it. He is happier in himself now after a few weeks of the antidepressants, and i am keen to get him back to work. At the moment he spends most of his time in his room playing computer games etc which can't be good for him. Any tips on how to encourage him to open up to me or get him back to work, or anything else would be greatly appreciated.

  • Hi,

    Do you know how your son feels about his current situation? Does he even view it as a problem? If not, then you probably have an uphill battle on your hands. I know how frustrating it is when someone isn't living to their fullest but refuses to engage with any help (my mother has schizophrenia).

    What did he do when he was working? Was it something he enjoyed? If not, were there aspects he liked that he might find in a slightly different role or business? It might help if you can get him thinking what he's passionate about and what he wants to get out of his life. For example, if he likes computer games, maybe he could get into designing, programming or testing them? Does he want to have a home of his own one day? If so, he'll need to find a way to make money etc.

    If he can see that his limitations are getting in the way of doing something he really loves or wants to achieve, then he might be more open to seeking help. Unfortunately, it might take several months, or longer, to get to that stage; and if he's actually content with his life as it stands, then it could take considerably longer.

    Sorry, I'm not sure I've been much help.