Am I Autistic?

Hi all! I am a 24 year old woman and I’ve recently been thinking that I might have a higher functioning form of autism. I’d like to get some outside opinions, just to make sure I’m not exaggerating in my head before I consider seeing a doctor. Here are some of the things that have made me think I could have autism:
1. I have always had significant difficulty relating to other people and keeping friends, mostly because I often feel I don’t know what to say to make conversation. I have tried different approaches to socializing and people often find me too aloof or too overbearing, and I haven’t been able to find a good middle ground between the two. There have been many times in my life that I had no friends at all.
2. I have always had a need to stick to specific routines. I only eat off of certain plates/bowls and with certain silverware, I must have my food prepared in very specific/detailed ways or eating it makes me feel sick, I can only wear clothes that fit in very specific ways or I feel like I’m suffocating, I cannot stand to step on any cracks in the road/sidewalk or I just feel wrong for the rest of the day, I can only hold/use my phone with my right hand, if I carry any money in my wallet all the bills must be facing the same way, I can’t stand if the furniture has been rearranged because the whole room feels foreign. These are just the ones I could think of off the top of my head, but there are plenty more.
3. I do repetitive movements that might be described as stimming, for example I compulsively crack my knuckles especially when I am uncomfortable, and if I’m especially uncomfortable I will clench up all the muscles in my body, which somehow makes me feel safer.
4. My maternal grandfather and cousin were both diagnosed with Aspergers, back when that was a diagnosis, so I have a family history.
5. I am very uncomfortable with any new things; for instance I hate traveling to new places where I don’t know what to expect, I am very uncomfortable meeting new people, even small deviations to my normal daily routine make me feel off and uncomfortable for the whole day, if I go to a new restaurant for example I have to research the place, read their menu, and know exactly what it looks like and exactly what I’m going to order before I feel comfortable going, and I like to watch other people ordering ahead of me so I can know I’m doing it right.
6. I don’t have one specific special interest that I’ve been interested in for my whole life, but I do tend to get very invested in varying interests. For example, after I watched the ted bundy documentary, I spent weeks researching ted bundy, finding out everything I could about him, and rewatching the documentary several times. And as you can imagine, once I started to think I might have autism, I spent hours at a time doing detailed research on traits of autism.
7. I got through high school and some of college with actually quite good grades, however school was always quite a struggle for me because I often felt I was different from everyone around me, and the reason I did well is because I often felt outcast from the people around me and those feelings made me force perfectionism onto myself in order to compensate. I eventually dropped out of college because the pressure to keep up in academia, support myself financially, and attempt to maintain a social life became too much for me to handle. Honestly, I felt that if I continued to pressure myself to finish college I was going to kill myself, so that’s why I dropped out.
8. I often feign interest in things other people talk about in order to more easily carry on a conversation. I’ve had to teach myself to not monopolize the conversation and to listen to things other people are interested in even though I usually find it very boring.
9. I have issues with sensory overload, for example I’m very sensitive to temperature and tend to get overheated easily; I cannot concentrate on a conversation if there are multiple inputs; for example if someone is trying to talk to me while there is TV playing in the background or if someone tries to talk to me in a loud setting I can’t concentrate on what is being said and I usually get overwhelmed and shut down; I am very sensitive to bad smells and find even the slightest unpleasant scent to be intolerable to be around; I am a very picky eater and if something tastes even slightly strange to me I cannot stand to eat it.
10. I get overwhelmed very easily when having to learn things that I don’t immediately understand. For example, the last time I got a new computer, I had to learn how to use it and had a huge meltdown halfway through the setup because it was so different from my old computer and I felt like I was never going to understand.

So based on these traits, I’m interested to see if other people think autism is a likely diagnosis for me or if I’m just overblowing things in my mind. I do tend to doubt myself just because I’m in my mid-twenties and have gone through life without a diagnosis thus far; however I know women and girls are less likely to be diagnosed in childhood, so I’m not sure what to think. I also doubt myself because I’ve been able to hold down a job and support myself as an adult, which makes me wonder if I’m neurotypical and I’m just overreacting to a few unusual traits of mine. I’d really appreciate any input, and if anyone does think I sound like I may have autism, I’d also appreciate feedback on whether diagnosis is a useful thing in adulthood or if it would be easier to just continue living my life the way I have been. Thank you!!

Parents
  • Reading your post I would highly recommend speaking with your doctor and getting a referral. I did the same as you wrote down my traits and went to see my GP along with an online test I had taken highlighting possible high functioning autism or aspergers. 

    I have held a job for nearly 20 years so don't think just because you can hold a job down that you may not be on the spectrum. Holding a job comes with all kinds of stresses and worries but when we get home we can wind down in our own way. I need quiet time when the kids are in bed and sit in another room from my wife. I need to occupy my mind on my special interest to de-stress and chill.

    I can't really comment on how a diagnosis can help because I only got mine recently and only my wife and parents know. I haven't informed my employer as I don't know how I am going to tackle this situation because communication is a difficult area for me. I need time to figure out my next steps it could take weeks.

    Anyway best of luck with finding out if you are or aren't but reading your post if I was you and felt a diagnosis would help me in life and better understand myself, then I would go and see my GP and get things moving.

Reply
  • Reading your post I would highly recommend speaking with your doctor and getting a referral. I did the same as you wrote down my traits and went to see my GP along with an online test I had taken highlighting possible high functioning autism or aspergers. 

    I have held a job for nearly 20 years so don't think just because you can hold a job down that you may not be on the spectrum. Holding a job comes with all kinds of stresses and worries but when we get home we can wind down in our own way. I need quiet time when the kids are in bed and sit in another room from my wife. I need to occupy my mind on my special interest to de-stress and chill.

    I can't really comment on how a diagnosis can help because I only got mine recently and only my wife and parents know. I haven't informed my employer as I don't know how I am going to tackle this situation because communication is a difficult area for me. I need time to figure out my next steps it could take weeks.

    Anyway best of luck with finding out if you are or aren't but reading your post if I was you and felt a diagnosis would help me in life and better understand myself, then I would go and see my GP and get things moving.

Children
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