Hi - Mum of autistic young man

Hi I'm Jan my son's autistic he's almost 21 he was diagnosed at 3yrs attended special schools he's very clever he's not severely but I would say his behaviour becoming increasingly worrying he has developed tics strange facial expressions grunts a lot constantly talking to himself he attends college and goes to a garden centre which caters for his needs but not seeing any improvement just all a complete worry he has a very good supportive family which is just myself husband and older son. 

I would just like to say how come so many people are autistic now it seems to be in our neighbourhood community friends of friends kids have it I mean come on they say genetics environments I don't believe any of it something's causing it. During my pregnancy I was healthy didn't drink alcohol or smoke and I was only 22.

You indicate your younger son was diagnosed at the age of 3, This is about the minimum age 3.5 years a doctor or medical professional will commit themselves to the diagnosis, This will have been because of his increasing unusual behaviors and development, that worried you. 

Being born is obviously a stressful process for all concerned. This can include damage to the infants brain, whether physical, because it gets deformed, or lack of oxygen. There is several other underlying medical conditions that may be associated with a child being autistic. and the same goes for genetic heredity factors. 

Autism is a spectrum of behaviours, that are uncontrollable to the afflicted as environmental stress builds up.,  There is no cure despite all the Quack websites saying. they have it.  

What is needed it for the autistic person to have a stress free and predictable environment for their whole life, where any changes are done at their pace as they may develop.

You, as your sons's parents, have become without you realising it,  His Unpaid Parent Carers of Last Resort for 168 hours a week, less any time you may get respite when he is at College or the Garden Centre. This will still leave you coping for something like 133 hrs a week, which may be for the rest of your life , or until you have a Crisis when your health breaks down completely. 

This is the increasing worry, for Me aged 80, my wife 77 with our severely autistic son aged 36, who has no knowledge of the impending future, we are putting off as long as possible. because he is in a safe environment. except it's for 168 hours a week 24x7 for two carers needed constantly. Where our Local Authority withdrew funding for two needed employed carers  4.5 years ago. This is obviously an abuse of us, as My sons Needed Unpaid Parent Carers of Last resort, because when we fail They will farm him out as a package, where he will no doubt get abused by a procession of  so called employed carers, according to media revelations. My Local authority thinks nothing of spending £6million on sand in the sea to make a beach for tourists for the benefit of shopkeepers. But have withdrawn about £150,000 for my sons needed Carers for just 35hrs of the 168 hrs in a week..  Currently His respite is just over £405 per night at 2012 rates, when we can get it, None since last December. We are lucky we will get 3 nights respite in two weeks time.(hopefully).

Sorry to hear about your situation and i constantly thinks about what's ahead but my plan is for my son to his own flat when he reaches about 25 with support I really wouldn't like my son to stay with me until later in life not fare on him or us. But who knows he could very well be with us until then the way cuts are these days. It's an emotional rollercoaster for us all.

M son's milestone's were perfectly normal up until age 2yrs when his speech wasn't developing then the terrible screaming and tantrums became really bad thankfully he attended a special needs nursery and was diagnosed age 3 by a doctor and psychologist. He attended special needs school age 5 a fantastic school with excellent teachers who taught my son to talk. But when my son was born right until age 2 he was a perfectly normal baby that didn't show any worrying signs I personally don't believe it's genetic. At the point when my son was being diagnosed I had 2 neighbours kids all showing signs of autism and it turned out to be that's what it was so 3 kids in 1 street and the professionals say it's genetics well I don't have anyone in the family who has it but I'm not arguing with anyone the point is it's lifelong and we just have to except and get on with it. I've just joined this group to find ways to help my son I'm emotionally exhausted just now I very upset of seeing my son changing I feel some how it's changes in his brain that's going on. just a few years ago when he was at secondary school he seemed a normal young man with a bright future that's just not the case at the moment. 

M son's milestone's were perfectly normal up until age 2yrs when his speech wasn't developing then the terrible screaming and tantrums became really bad thankfully he attended a special needs nursery and was diagnosed age 3 by a doctor and psychologist. He attended special needs school age 5 a fantastic school with excellent teachers who taught my son to talk. But when my son was born right until age 2 he was a perfectly normal baby that didn't show any worrying signs I personally don't believe it's genetic. At the point when my son was being diagnosed I had 2 neighbours kids all showing signs of autism and it turned out to be that's what it was so 3 kids in 1 street and the professionals say it's genetics well I don't have anyone in the family who has it but I'm not arguing with anyone the point is it's lifelong and we just have to except and get on with it. I've just joined this group to find ways to help my son I'm emotionally exhausted just now I very upset of seeing my son changing I feel some how it's changes in his brain that's going on. just a few years ago when he was at secondary school he seemed a normal young man with a bright future that's just not the case at the moment.