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New and overwelmed

mouse

Hello, my son has now been diagnosed with asd, they say he is middway of moderate to severe.  I am finding it all overwelming.  He has started school in Spetember, and the school have been brilliant and are trying to accomodate and take slowly what they need to do for my son.  At the moment they have him going into school for 2 hours which is their child led activity time as my boy can not do adult led time very well.  They are monitoring him to see when they can up his times and are introducing adult led time in the two hours he's there so he is not pressured in doing it.  But my son is noticing that he goes home at 12 and no one else.  He went quiet on me this weekend, he is very observant and has good understanding which is making it hard to know what to do.  We dont want to rush him and yet he is very bright and likes to be involved in things, he just can't socialise and communicate well.  And also because he doesn't always respond and listen to the staff it makes it difficult to watch him and the other children.  The school unfortunately can not give him the one to one he needs at the moment cause they haven't the staff.  A statement is in process at the moment, which we have been told he will probably get. 

 

I have been told he may not need to go to a special school and yet the mainstream school can only provide the support they can.  I know they would have to provide it once a statement has been issued but still can't help wondering if he would be better off in a SEN school.  Has anyone had this. 

 

Also another thing what to people do for say dentist trips when your child refuses to show the dentist their teeth.  I know a random question but I'm not sure how to do this.

 

I'm still learning about my son and still finding it all overwelming. 

L

  • Hello again

    Not sure what to do about my son and school really.  He started at a mainstream school and on his first two days like probably any child was upset and wasn't sure what was expected of him.  He only did mornings, the same as everyone else.  The senco had a meeting with us and said that to start with my son will do 10 to 12 everyday for one week and on a friday they will have another meeting with me to say how to proceed from that.  Well for the last three weeks he has been doing 10 to 12, they have introduced this week a now and then adult led tasks to ease him into what he would have to do if going full time.  But I'm not sure if he will yet as they have told me they do not have the staff to support my son at the adult led times.  He has started to notice that he is the only arriving at school for 10 and the only one leaving at 12.  He has changed sligtly in his temperment, getting a bit more aggresive (Especially towards our dog) and is quieter.  I think he is telling me in his way because his communication is weak, that he's not happy.  But how do I proceed.  Would he find going full time too much.  Sitting in a big hall with other children for lunch would make him uncomfortable and he would probably get up and either run around or want to get out. If they cant provide the staff how can I guarantee his safety and that they are looking after him well and educating him.  The teacher advisor we have has also told the school they have to take things slow for him and not rush him, he needs time.  I think from reading different things that its not necessarily time he needs but just a person who is assigned to him to give him the support he needs in school.  He is a bright and very observant boy, with good cognitive development. 

    Also to throw another thing in the pot, we are hoping to move to a different county so I am eggerly waiting on the statement.  if I change his school now, he's going to have to change school when we move.  So do I hang on with this school and just try and work a better situation out for him or what?  We wanted to move now so he could start in a school from the beginning so he hasn't too much change to deal with.  Unfortunately nothing works out when you want it too, hence we're still where we are at the moment.

    I am hoping to visit the support group we have near us but its not till next month, so wanted to know if anyone here could just give me their views.

    God knows what I must sound like,  but I just don't know what to do best for him.  I keep reading things and I still don't know.

    L

  • Hi mouse,

    if you wanted to look more into whether the school is providing an adequate amount of support for your son, and what your rights are, you could contact our Education Rights Service:

    http://www.autism.org.uk/advocacy

    They should also be able to advise about finding a place at another school, and how best to go about this. I hope you can get some answers soon.

    philippab - mod

  • Thankyou to both of you.  Have had a look at the information about dentist visit which is helpful.

    I have looked at the sen schools in the area and am now looking into visiting them as it would be great to see what they do.  I have been told that my son will not be able to get a place this year as the schools are full.

    We have a teacher advisor assigned to us and she has been advising the school about taking it slow with my son's intergration into the school.  But am not sure this is good for him because he is bright and notices when he's being treated differently.  But the school haven't the staff to support him fully, so I haven't a clue what best to do.  So I will look further onto this site and see what I can find information to help me with this.

    L 

     

  • Hi mouse,

    I just wanted to say that we have a page about going to the dentist on the website, here:

    http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/out-and-about/dentist-preparing-to-visit.aspx

    There might be some suggestions there that you could try. Your son's diagnosis must be a lot to accept and deal with at the moment. I hope that you find the forum helpful and supportive.

    philippab - mod

  • hi Mouse - I think it's perfectly understandable to feel overwhelmed at 1st with the diagnosis.  I certainly did + there are posts on this site from others who felt the same way.  Remember that 1st + foremost your son has his own personality + that he also has asd.  Asd will affect him but to what degree + in what areas? Early days for both of you.   From your post it doesn't sound like the school is meeting his needs.  He's having to fit in with them.  I appreciate the statement hasn't been done yet, but it's v important to get the right educational provision.  If you haven't looked at some of the other posts here, about diagnosis, statementing, education etc, please do so.  They will help to inform your decision about the best type of schooling for your son.  LEA's are v cost-conscious, esp with government cuts imposed on councils, so make your views known about what you think's best educationally for him.  Is there an autism-specific school in your area?  If so, it might be worth a visit.  bw.