I have three children. The eldest 12 and resently diagnosed. The middle one is 9 awaiting diagnosis and the youngest is 7 months.
Im feeling for want of a better term lost. I have been given the answer I expected regarding my eldest daughter and I'm expecting it again for my middle daughter dispite them being completely different. The diagnosis battle was difficult but now that seam like the easy part.
I have a report that frankly means nothing all the links provided with it are not all that helpful she's to old or to young or its all the other side of the county. Im getting little support from anywhere as I don't know where to turn.
Now it's almost 2am I can sleep and I can hear my youngest snoring away and I'm almost praying that dispite his prematurity that he is "normal" which makes me feel awful and I don't know if I'm right thinking if both his sister have ASD then he probably will too and then how will I manage.
I say I because it me who dose particley everything when it comes to the kids. The other half dosent seem to care apart from when our youngest daughter is having a meltdow over something small and he gets cross making it worse and more difficult for me who then has to calm everyone down.
Sorry iv gone on and on.
It is completely normal to feel lost even when you are expecting the diagnosis.
Just because the older 2 are asd doesn't mean the little one will be, even being prem! I have 4 kids one all grown up, but 3 at home aged 8,7 and 17 months the 8 year old is without a doubt autistic (still battling for assessment) the 7 year old is more than likely nt (waiting to see if she grows out of hyperactivity) and the youngest is also more than likely nt, 3 out of four of my kids have been premature so it doesn't necessarily mean anything.
I also know the strain of doing it all by yourself, my partner stays out of the way (he is undiagnosed asd and the chaos of the kids drives him nuts!) but he has a tendency to shout when daughter is having a meltdown as his thought processes are opposite to hers and they both think they are right! So he leaves it to me!
Have you tried looking in the services directory for support in your area? Or the nas parent to parent service, you might find that helpful.
Also I would suggest looking online for resources there are some brilliant autistic advocates out there that produce alot of material to help us understand more and to give your child a positive view of their autism and understand how they are feeling. I particularly like one called agony autie
Try and find a local support group for you as talking to others really does help
I wrote a long reply but it's not uploaded! Short version is that having 2 asd doesnt mean your other childs asd. We have alot of asd in our family but it's such as 5 siblings 1 asd. 4 siblings 1 asd. I even knew twins where one was asd other nt!