Published on 12, July, 2020
Greetings to all who may come to know me, I am fifty one year old late diagnosed autist, diagnosed by way of higher education in 2012 of which was a very revealing year as in the same year I was also found to be an XXY human, of which together with the ASD diagnosis answered so much of my past and near self destruction for me to start work on forgiving myself my failures- it wasn't my fault as I was always lead to believe to suffer that most painful emotion, the feeling of being alien to the species one was born into to know well that other pain ; rejection. Of which given nothing has really changed since diagnosis as adults know there is no treatment for myself to have it writ in black and white in three separate letters is still ongoing and with it, thoroughly depressing, to at last cause me to come here, to see if I can find a way through.
And of autism, what type, well they that diagnosed me an Aspie himself, an NHS consultant working privately as an educational psychologist to whom I was sent when at college I was failing with the easy stuff like being in the right place at the right time and understanding assignment briefs but not the stuff no one else could do to have to be told to stop working at MA level, wasn't exactly sure, as my 'presentation was a bit unusual' he said, to award simply high functioning autism, that and dyspraxia, since taken by all and sundry including my GP as Asperger Syndrome perhaps because it's fashionable as I know the difference between HFA and AS, even if others do not.
And so as to that other diagnosis that came that revealing year, where I discovered I never was what I tried so hard but always failed to be,( by observation),when it was found due to a chest problem, okay, a lump found benign I was born with 47 chromosomes, to be an XXY for the condition to be more commonly referred to as Klinefelter Syndrome, but I reject the term through disagreeing my existence is either a syndrome or a disorder, to just accept the label ; XXY. Where how do I see myself well given science has proved I am biologically not male, I am more than happy to accept the term ' intersex ' through the freedom it affords me to ideally be my wholesome self at last, where of gender I identify as non binary sometimes androgyne, to be on a ' transition' pathway to look less male than I feel I look, where the hormone therapy serves two functions with myself ; feminising in addition to addressing some of the psychological that comes with being XXY for I have found estradiol to be a wonderful anti depressant.
Welcome to the forum. I am a straight female, but I can certainly relate to the sense seeking a way through. You are not aggressive at all. I am sure somebody will be here with personal experience very relevant to you. Please join in on the forum, there are lively conversations to be had.
And to yourself also, I thank you for your most kind welcome.