Hello, I’m reaching out to the partners of this with autism.
I’m trying to understand but feel upset a lot of the time, it’s 3am and we’re in different rooms.....
I'm a middle aged married Asperger guy - what would you like to know?
I feel as though he tries to lick holes in me and my past to try and differ away from his own issues.
he gets snappy with me and will tell me he doesn’t believe I love him.
He also talks over me and doesn’t appear to listen !
There may be many things - is he under pressure from somewhere else? Work issues? He may be trying to vent his stress and you just happen to be the target because he feels he's in a safe space with you. Saying nasty things he might really want to say to someone else - but can't because of social norms or risk of being fired.
Talking over you may just be he's stressed and feels his problems are bigger than yours.
Typical Aspies tend to get stressed by chaos around them - this may be anything that doesn't make sense or isn't logical - things like conflicting instructions at work, things not put away in a sensible (to us) order. Things like mixing forks and spoons in the drawer - little things - but they just add a little more to the building stress of everything else.
As we get older, life and the universe gets more complex and more difficult for us to juggle all the uncertainties of life when we prefer facts and known outcomes.
Even social interactions are full of guessing the other person's true motives and double guessing topics of conversation - it gets very wearing..
There could be a million reasons he behaves like that.
What is happening in his life?
There is of course another option - he may just be not a nice person.
I am an aspie married to an aspie. What Plastic says makes a lot of sense to me.
I would try to calm down, both of you. Otherwise you can't communicate and misunderstandings and misinterpretations pile up and you get reactions to reactions to reactions and it all goes on a red herring chase.
Try just to agree to do something you both like doing, like watching a movie with a pizza and try to connect, south each-other.
Thank you both :-)