I'm a father to my autistic 3 year old son who was diagnosed with autism a few months ago, we are still coming to terms with this. My partner commented often as he was growing that he was different because of how he never interacted with other children in at his play groups and why he likes to jump a lot and flap his arms. I was in a state of denial about it for so long until recently and now my world has changed in many ways.
In many ways we are fortunate in others less fortunate, he is such a happy little boy and rarely has meltdowns. However he has never said a single word, its always long constant noises such as 'nnnn' 'eee' if you understand. Its also difficult to obtain his attention for long, I spend as much time as i can with him doing our little educational games and trying to get him to interract more, I can see when i look in his eyes what he wants to do but he does not understand how to signal or communicate his wishes, it is heartbreaking and reduces me to tears often, but we also share little moments of progression and i can see he is so proud.
I wont lie my emotions have really been taken a battering, I'm not a religious person at all yet was on my knees saying to myself i will sell my soul so my son can have a normal life, sounds crazy i know but when in depths of despair you think some crazy things sometimes.
I know some days are going to be harder than others but he is still the same little boy i love with all my heart. I recommend a book written by a child with autism called 'The reason i jump' I found a great deal of comfort from reading it, i cried yet it answered many questions as to why my own little boy does some of the things he does.
Hey, welcome to the community.
Hi. Just thought I'd reach out and respond... I have a 37 month old boy w/ASD. Also does a lot of humming and sound effects. He is verbal but very much on his terms. I know how hard it is and I just want you to know that you are not alone. I struggle with the same sense of helplessness and often wonder why him? Why me? Why? I would also give my life for him to have a "normal" one. I want to share some positives with you in the hope of lifting you up a bit. Our sons will not be serial killers. They will not be school shooters. They will not overdose. They will not beat their wives. They will not be the members of society who wreak havoc. Those people will be "neurotypical" children who stray off of their paths in life. My point: you can have a "normal" child and do everything to nurture them and help them grow and they may end up hurting many many people. Our boys will never be these people. They are challenged, but we know that their paths are not headed in a terrible direction. Parents of "normal" children can never know what the future brings for their children. I know this is a strange perspective, but it brings me some peace of mind. I wish you the best <3