New here. At the beginning of February our daughter was diagnosed with Atism. It’s been such a long journey. I have launched her on the world so many times and every time she hit the rocks. Having worked in the field of disabled children for 20 years and having been involved in producing training resources for social workers and service providers, i failed to spot my own child’s autism.
The young woman who assessed her was not in the slightest bit surprised that I hadn’t been able to identify the root cause of her difficulties. Even though I have been Trying to support her all her life, the diagnosis has been a massive game changer.
i feel like a black hole, absorbing her negativity. She is a wonderful young woman and the positive energy she emits is equally powerful but I’m just not coping with the emotional responsibility. The realisation that this is not going to go away.
i have so much to say I feel that I could type my fingers off...right here and now. No one to talk to about it. My husband isn’t one to talk. No one else believes she’s autistic, apart from her twin brother and older brother. I feel exhausted with the maelstrom of emotions since she was diagnosed.
i would like to connect with other parents that have been around, in a support role when a late diagnosis comes about.
Hello and welcome to the forum.
As someone who was diagnosed in his early sixties, I can say with confidence, don’t be too hard on yourself for not spotting your daughter’s autism.
I would suggest you contact NAS to ask if there is support group for others in a similar situation. I also suggest that your daughter joins this forum. For many of us it is the most helpful resource available. The people on here are both knowledgeable and kind. Graham.
Thanks so much for your response Graham. I hit a wall last night.
Your advice is sound. I will talk to her again about looking here for support.
The irony is that my working life was spent in organising the sharing of good practice in supporting parents of disabled children and providing ways to enable disabled children and young people to be more included and have more opportunity for social activity.
I was particularly interested in services for children with autism who figured largely but there was little talk of girls and autism and those I met were generally severely affected. My daughter is only affected mildly and , now we understand our plight, I am sure she will be able to achieve more independence.
You are welcome.
Your daughter may like to look around this web site: https://www.spectrumwomen.com
You might like to contact our Parent to Parent service - you can find the details here: https://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/parent-to-parent.aspx
It's really common to miss your child's disability! So many of us are in the mindset that since it's quite uncommon, it won't affect our child, so we unconsciously reject any signals that suggests that our children could have it. You don't need to prove this to anyone - just focus on looking after your child, and then you'll both be happiest!x
Much love <3
Thank you. Yes, especially with girls. She is so good at presenting herself. My family just see it that I am reluctant to cut the apron strings. Couldn’t be further from the truth. We are slowly ajusting to the new diagnosis and we need to find the way forward together. Things can only get better, as they say. My daughter is ver positive about it. She feels better about herself knowing that it’s not that she’s crap at life, she’s just been trying to live someone else’s life and not her own. She will get there.