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daugter only just diagnosed

kelzbelz

hi everyone,

i am new to all this as my daughter (aged 9) was only diagnosed with asd 2 weeks ago. although this was not a complete shock it is still sinking in for my husband and I. What a fight it is to get this far! I feel like we have only just begun our journey as a family and would apreciate any advice you have to give. we also have a daughter of 8 who is nt(only just found out what that means) and we are to expect our 3rd child in december. these are very stressfull times for us and if im honest i really dont know where to go from here or what to expect next. It breaks our hearts to see our 8 yr old growing up and spending time with friends knowing that our other daughter struggles so much but at the same time we are happy. Is it normal to feel this way? Also guilt ,and the feeling of being so alone and then feeling selfish for worrying about my own feelings not knowing how our daughter must feel. I hope that reading some of the discussions on here will help a little with all this

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  • hi Squirrel - trying to keep it all together can tear you apart.  It's v dfficult trying to reconcile all the differing needs in a family or with friends.  The stresses can be enormous.   I used to feel like I was cracking up at times.  I was a single parent when my son was diagnosed at just under 3 yrs old.  That was over 20 yrs ago now.  The things that helped were :  the local authority advising he shd attend one of their nurseries for part of each wk, being statemented to attend a school for children with asd + being offered an amount of respite care via social services.  All these things help, as long as you get them.  Reading posts on this site, it looks like some parents are having a rotten time of it + are having to battle all the way for anything.  Empathy + autism don't really go together. My son hasn't empathy but he does recognise to some degree when people are upset now.  However, things are always centred around his needs, that won't change, altho can be modified a bit over time as understanding develops more.   It must be confusing with the asd + the diabetes sometimes....sorry but can't give advice on that, maybe someone else will come along who can.  bw

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  • hi Squirrel - trying to keep it all together can tear you apart.  It's v dfficult trying to reconcile all the differing needs in a family or with friends.  The stresses can be enormous.   I used to feel like I was cracking up at times.  I was a single parent when my son was diagnosed at just under 3 yrs old.  That was over 20 yrs ago now.  The things that helped were :  the local authority advising he shd attend one of their nurseries for part of each wk, being statemented to attend a school for children with asd + being offered an amount of respite care via social services.  All these things help, as long as you get them.  Reading posts on this site, it looks like some parents are having a rotten time of it + are having to battle all the way for anything.  Empathy + autism don't really go together. My son hasn't empathy but he does recognise to some degree when people are upset now.  However, things are always centred around his needs, that won't change, altho can be modified a bit over time as understanding develops more.   It must be confusing with the asd + the diabetes sometimes....sorry but can't give advice on that, maybe someone else will come along who can.  bw

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