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daugter only just diagnosed

kelzbelz

hi everyone,

i am new to all this as my daughter (aged 9) was only diagnosed with asd 2 weeks ago. although this was not a complete shock it is still sinking in for my husband and I. What a fight it is to get this far! I feel like we have only just begun our journey as a family and would apreciate any advice you have to give. we also have a daughter of 8 who is nt(only just found out what that means) and we are to expect our 3rd child in december. these are very stressfull times for us and if im honest i really dont know where to go from here or what to expect next. It breaks our hearts to see our 8 yr old growing up and spending time with friends knowing that our other daughter struggles so much but at the same time we are happy. Is it normal to feel this way? Also guilt ,and the feeling of being so alone and then feeling selfish for worrying about my own feelings not knowing how our daughter must feel. I hope that reading some of the discussions on here will help a little with all this

Parents

  • Hi Everyone,

    I am new to this site.......so just thought I'd introduce myself and see if anyone identifies with what I'm saying. Here goes.....my wee girl is 10 and has had type 1 diabetes for 6 years......we have wasted such a long time being told her problems were diabetes related or we needed to be firmer and stop her controlling nature. Health issues have muddied the real problem...the wee soul has aspergers too! Thanks to someone relating the story of their Jekyll and Hyde child....very quiet, but good at school and then a total nightmare when they came home.

    What a challenge trying to get your child diagnosed....as if your home life is not challenging enough you have to fight and push to get a diagnosis...and then realise this is only the start of your journey. At times it is difficult to know what is the ASD....what is the diabetes and what is just her playing up. It is like having a wee onion and trying to peel the layers back to try to work out what is what.....lol... It is hard living with constant meltdowns and total oppositional behaviour. I feel as if my brain is going to explode at times....but what else is there to do. Over the last few years my lovely hubby and I have never argued as much......and I feel sad when we end up bickering over this constant strain. I feel so sad and rubbish that my little 7 yr old has to put up with the constant turmoil at home. The more I try to fix things for him, the more inadequate I feel as I know at the moment I don't know how to make things better for him or my family.

     I have tried to placate my child on my own as she only wants me, but I know this is not the answer as in protecting the others I am quietly going mad. The suffocation of my child's need for me constantly is overwhelming and her constant negative thoughts overwhelm me. She is quite nasty to me and is totally oblivious to my feelings. Her anger results in constant screaming.....small requests are opposed at every turn. If I'm sick she tries to pull me out the bed, if I lock my door to get changed she tries to kick it in. Does this ring a bell with anyone. I can not fill her need to be constantly entertained 24/7.

    I feel it is overshadowing my life and alienating me from others......I try not to bug friends by telling them things that seem weird and strange and stuff they don't understand or can relate to. In my effort not to pull people down with me, I feel as if I am very alone......... Hopefully things will improve soon:-]

     

Reply

  • Hi Everyone,

    I am new to this site.......so just thought I'd introduce myself and see if anyone identifies with what I'm saying. Here goes.....my wee girl is 10 and has had type 1 diabetes for 6 years......we have wasted such a long time being told her problems were diabetes related or we needed to be firmer and stop her controlling nature. Health issues have muddied the real problem...the wee soul has aspergers too! Thanks to someone relating the story of their Jekyll and Hyde child....very quiet, but good at school and then a total nightmare when they came home.

    What a challenge trying to get your child diagnosed....as if your home life is not challenging enough you have to fight and push to get a diagnosis...and then realise this is only the start of your journey. At times it is difficult to know what is the ASD....what is the diabetes and what is just her playing up. It is like having a wee onion and trying to peel the layers back to try to work out what is what.....lol... It is hard living with constant meltdowns and total oppositional behaviour. I feel as if my brain is going to explode at times....but what else is there to do. Over the last few years my lovely hubby and I have never argued as much......and I feel sad when we end up bickering over this constant strain. I feel so sad and rubbish that my little 7 yr old has to put up with the constant turmoil at home. The more I try to fix things for him, the more inadequate I feel as I know at the moment I don't know how to make things better for him or my family.

     I have tried to placate my child on my own as she only wants me, but I know this is not the answer as in protecting the others I am quietly going mad. The suffocation of my child's need for me constantly is overwhelming and her constant negative thoughts overwhelm me. She is quite nasty to me and is totally oblivious to my feelings. Her anger results in constant screaming.....small requests are opposed at every turn. If I'm sick she tries to pull me out the bed, if I lock my door to get changed she tries to kick it in. Does this ring a bell with anyone. I can not fill her need to be constantly entertained 24/7.

    I feel it is overshadowing my life and alienating me from others......I try not to bug friends by telling them things that seem weird and strange and stuff they don't understand or can relate to. In my effort not to pull people down with me, I feel as if I am very alone......... Hopefully things will improve soon:-]

     

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