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daugter only just diagnosed

kelzbelz

hi everyone,

i am new to all this as my daughter (aged 9) was only diagnosed with asd 2 weeks ago. although this was not a complete shock it is still sinking in for my husband and I. What a fight it is to get this far! I feel like we have only just begun our journey as a family and would apreciate any advice you have to give. we also have a daughter of 8 who is nt(only just found out what that means) and we are to expect our 3rd child in december. these are very stressfull times for us and if im honest i really dont know where to go from here or what to expect next. It breaks our hearts to see our 8 yr old growing up and spending time with friends knowing that our other daughter struggles so much but at the same time we are happy. Is it normal to feel this way? Also guilt ,and the feeling of being so alone and then feeling selfish for worrying about my own feelings not knowing how our daughter must feel. I hope that reading some of the discussions on here will help a little with all this

Parents

  • hi Wolfy - know exactly how you feel, even tho it's a long time ago that I felt that way.  I can relate to the feelings you expressed in your post, such as feeling grief-stricken + only seeing the asd.  But....as you also say, your son is adorable.  Please remember that 1st + foremost you have a little person here who needs his mum + who also has asd.  He has his own personality, just as those without asd have.  How will he develop??  Perhaps those who diagnosed him gave or can give you some pointers.  My son didn't talk till he was 5, but he cd write a number of words before then.  He cd understand simple commands + was a practical problem solver before he cd talk.  He's always had a good sense of humour!  It takes a while to adjust to these changed circumstances + to understand autism in depth. You need to change your way or thinking to take into account how autism affects your son. The social side, not to be underestimated, will prove difficult.  I think everybody looks at various interventions.  Personally I think it's best to stick with the tried + tested, otherwise parents cd, unwittingly, put their children + themselves thru a lot of heartache for no gain.  This site is a goldmine of tried + tested info so consider relying on it for at least a while.  An appropriate educational environment is vital, in my opinion.  A good school can make all the difference.  Check things out in your area.  Please don't feel guilty, altho I've certainly felt that way at times.  It's a big learning curve, getting your head around it all. Knowledge is power + will help you + your son.  Take your time + take time with your son - there's no need to hurry right now.  Look after yourself, as well as him!

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  • hi Wolfy - know exactly how you feel, even tho it's a long time ago that I felt that way.  I can relate to the feelings you expressed in your post, such as feeling grief-stricken + only seeing the asd.  But....as you also say, your son is adorable.  Please remember that 1st + foremost you have a little person here who needs his mum + who also has asd.  He has his own personality, just as those without asd have.  How will he develop??  Perhaps those who diagnosed him gave or can give you some pointers.  My son didn't talk till he was 5, but he cd write a number of words before then.  He cd understand simple commands + was a practical problem solver before he cd talk.  He's always had a good sense of humour!  It takes a while to adjust to these changed circumstances + to understand autism in depth. You need to change your way or thinking to take into account how autism affects your son. The social side, not to be underestimated, will prove difficult.  I think everybody looks at various interventions.  Personally I think it's best to stick with the tried + tested, otherwise parents cd, unwittingly, put their children + themselves thru a lot of heartache for no gain.  This site is a goldmine of tried + tested info so consider relying on it for at least a while.  An appropriate educational environment is vital, in my opinion.  A good school can make all the difference.  Check things out in your area.  Please don't feel guilty, altho I've certainly felt that way at times.  It's a big learning curve, getting your head around it all. Knowledge is power + will help you + your son.  Take your time + take time with your son - there's no need to hurry right now.  Look after yourself, as well as him!

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