Newbie on the journey to full diagnosis

Hello All

As I have updated my profile, I will briefly outline how I became aware of my condition and traits/characteristics and some background reading.

So, after a change in manager 18 months ago to a more directing/dictating attitude then things really started going downhill mentally for me.  He has effectively forced me to stop everything I am good at, not listened, not valued and not recognised my knowledge, skills and experience.  

I had several, what I now know, are meltdowns in work with the approach (everything verbal, contradictory/ambiguous that I cannot comprehend), April my job title/description changed (from what I was good at to what I could not do without help), and then in June I had my biggest one.  This manager was stood over me, annoyed with something I communicated in writing, and I was visibly shaking, had my head in my hands and finally starting slapping my head with my hands stating "I cannot deal with this".  

For that I was verbally reprimanded and from that point onwards I have been in regular meltdowns (for what I have said.written), verbal warnings and yet they are adamant I am normal until I get a diagnosis in writing from a NHS medical professional.  I just wish there was something more that could get, dare I say for the laggards to Mental Health, better visibility/Awareness using those of us diagnosed/on the journey to see it in others.

Anyway, my background reading has provided me with useful information that I can see the traits/characteristics in myself:-

  • NeuroTribes by Steve Silberman
  • How Autism Makes you Perceive the World Differently by Rhys Grinstead
  • The Guide to Good Mental Health on the Autism Spectrum by Jeanette Purkiss, Dr Emma Goodall and Dr Jane Nugent
  • The Autism Spectrum by Lorna Wing
  • A Practical Guide to Happiness in Adults on the Autistic Spectrum by Victoria Honeybourne = my current book

As I am currently off work with Stress/Anxiety then I know that, even though the terms are interchangeable, certain keywords create triggers = Anxiety is one whereas Stress is not.  I am abler to do my hobbies which I hear on the grapevine that my manager thinks that I am fit for work by doing that.

I had my telephone conversation this week with the Helpline and gathered so much information for which I thank you.