As I have updated my profile, I will briefly outline how I became aware of my condition and traits/characteristics and some background reading.
So, after a change in manager 18 months ago to a more directing/dictating attitude then things really started going downhill mentally for me. He has effectively forced me to stop everything I am good at, not listened, not valued and not recognised my knowledge, skills and experience.
I had several, what I now know, are meltdowns in work with the approach (everything verbal, contradictory/ambiguous that I cannot comprehend), April my job title/description changed (from what I was good at to what I could not do without help), and then in June I had my biggest one. This manager was stood over me, annoyed with something I communicated in writing, and I was visibly shaking, had my head in my hands and finally starting slapping my head with my hands stating "I cannot deal with this".
For that I was verbally reprimanded and from that point onwards I have been in regular meltdowns (for what I have said.written), verbal warnings and yet they are adamant I am normal until I get a diagnosis in writing from a NHS medical professional. I just wish there was something more that could get, dare I say for the laggards to Mental Health, better visibility/Awareness using those of us diagnosed/on the journey to see it in others.
Anyway, my background reading has provided me with useful information that I can see the traits/characteristics in myself:-
As I am currently off work with Stress/Anxiety then I know that, even though the terms are interchangeable, certain keywords create triggers = Anxiety is one whereas Stress is not. I am abler to do my hobbies which I hear on the grapevine that my manager thinks that I am fit for work by doing that.
I had my telephone conversation this week with the Helpline and gathered so much information for which I thank you.
It sounds like a quick assessment would be helpful to you. The waiting lists on the NHS are often really long. If possible, perhaps you can book a private assessment, and get a diagnosis in writing sent to your GP within a couple of weeks. You could also discuss mental health issues, such as anxiety, with your GP, and see if they may be able to offer some help like a written note that you can show the HR at work.Also, is there anyone at work, other than your current manager that you can talk to? It sounded like everything was fine, and you were doing what you were good at, before the change in manager 18 months ago. Perhaps you can talk to some other people at work to see if it would be possible to go back to doing what you were doing before?
Thanks for the reply qwerty
There is a lot actually going on that I am keeping quiet about althoiugh many of my wider network either knew, guessed or accepted my personality/condition before anything mentioned. Once I came out as possibly autistic, many with the experience said "of course you are"
There are both things you suggested now available yet for me it is too late to repair the toxicity. What the outcome is remains to be seen and it will be interesting
There is supposedly no business need for my second career/skills/expertise yet trying to get back to my known career (known skills shortage too) and the Manager is clear that he will put a stop to that and there is nothing for me.