New on here

Hi my son is nearly 4 years old an he got diagnosed when he was 2 years old for Austim over the last 12 months he has got worst the meltdowns are really bad he doesn't no how to get him self out them an nor do I he won't let me touch him or comfort him when he is distressed I don't no what to do an where to turn too i have booked in to see his consultant on the 1st March to get advice but till then I would be very greatful to get some advice of here thanks in advance 

  • Hi ,

    I can see how this must be really difficult for you. Individuals on the spectrum can often display behaviour that may be challenging. There will generally be a reason for this and it is important to try and understand the trigger for the behaviour when developing strategies.

    You may like to have a look at the following link for more information on behaviour and strategies:

    You may be interested in seeking some professional support regarding the behaviour. You can search for professionals in your area we are aware of on the Autism Services Directory:

    You may like to contact The Autism Helpline who can provide information and advice on behaviour and strategies. You can call them on 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Thursday 10am to 4pm, Friday 9am to 3pm). Please note that the Helpline is experiencing a high volume of calls and it may take a couple of attempts before you get through to speak to an advisor.

    I hope this helps.

    Best wishes,

    Chloe Mod

  • I am the father of a now 36 yr old severely autistic so who still has to live with us his Parents as he needs 24x 7 Care by 2 people, otherwise he will end up in a guilded cage which is still a prison, as it is the easiest way a local authority deals with their responsibility for his care as a package to tender for his "lifelong care", via the authority of a Court of Protection order where parents are not involved as he is an adult. 

    That said: Can you (presumed Mother) communicate verbally with your son and can he communicate his needs verbally with you. His behaviour may be the result of not being able to communicate. 

    He may have a hearing deficit, but he is presumed to have been examined by specialist when you had a diagnosis of autism.

    As he was two years old, I presume that his autism may be severe enough to have needed it,  and a diagnosis was a relief as somewhere to start,  having been at breaking point. 

    He may be in pain and cannot say where it hurts. 

    He may be hungry , or even off his food.

    We had one time where my sonat about 11 +/- years old had swallowed the inside carboard seal of a small bottle top got stuck in his throat and could not eat only drink. He was taken to hospital and came back home. 

    A week later with acute keytone breath he was taken back and admitted to find the disk in his throat, missed the 1st time, but he could not communicate to us that he had something stuck in his throat. all we could do was to watch him getting worse for a week.

    If he is hitting himself as my son used to do in his face for no apparent reason for long periods and be very upset crying as it must have hurt and would not stop., For no apparent reason at about 11yrs old,  do as I did once take a short Video couple of minutes with sound, say every 15 minutes to 30 minutes, just as protection for yourself, should a Council social worker say you injured him. He may get finger tip bruises as you restrain from hurting himself.  That particular incident went on for well over an hour, we could not stop him, gradually stopping only with his exhaustion. Others who don't know how a severely autistic person with a learning disability acts acts. always think the worst, especially if their job could be on the line as it will be in certain situations we all read about, just be prepared.  

    Maybe you running a very noisy shallow warm bath for him to play in may trigger a diverted response and induce him to stop.

    You could try just read him a favorite story out allowed and pretend to ignore him. ignore him, unless he is injuring  himself.

    Obviously only you are best able to try and determine the cause of his frustration if any at all

    He may have no reason whatsoever for his behaviour,  other than his Brain triggers him to do it for no reason at all. We have our son still try and occasionally attack for no reason at all other than it is Saturday and that is the day he will try and attack you after 30 handicapped swimming having got his Chippy order, and you forget he is going to do this action. Or he can see an opportunity to do so, but with experience you can perhaps realise he is building up to something and to be prepared. Really you need a carer in the back seat, or he can hit the Driver! perhaps for stopping at a red light, or speaking to the Carer with him. Something triggers it. You have to learn what.

    After 36 years We can realise his wants , but he cannot communicate other than in repetitious cartoon phrases, the autistic people on this website can understand tricky language. or it's their Parents or Carers.

    Don't give up!