HFA and usually OK

Hello everyone.

My name is Paul and I am 38 years old. I am Autistic and dyslexic. Becasue of my good levels of independence I am classed as High Functioning; however at times and within certain contexts this is clearly more of Barely Functioning.

I was diagnosed as Autistic in my mid 20s and have kind of done ok without any support. Not that I haven't wanted it but rather not sure what I should be asking. I am not known for being sociable. Not that unusual I guess.

I have managed to keep a job for about 5 years so far (beating a previous 2 year high score!) and am in a relationship with a very beautiful and kind woman who thinks I am fine.... obsession with running, stimming, noise making and fixating included. We have a couple of teenagers (stepdaughters are an insane addition to anyones world) who kind of like the fact I am a bit different. We have some banter and they are helping me to be more sociable.

I have some bad days. A lot sometimes. I am quite clever and do well at a lot of things. My obsession is now running and I am trying to get qualified so I can help other people enjoy exercise. I am scared of going out (I am typical AS as I love love love routine and patterns... my cognitive security blankets) but I still do try.

I hear a lot, rather read a lot about all the things people with AS cannot do or need help with but what I would like to say is everyone has something they are good at. I am not good because of my AS or in spite of it, I am good because I am what I am. And after 38 years or not being ok with that... I really am.