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Hi Jade, I found my son's school years the toughest. He went to mainstream school because the authorities thought he had too much academic ability to go to a specialist school - huge mistake. Although it seemed he was coping it damaged his self esteem hugely. He did get some fairly good grades, five C's but at what cost? College wasn't much better, and again he has a National Diploma but he felt inadequate the whole time, comparing himself to the other students. I found the early pre-school years much better, when he didn't have to integrate with other children, and he didn't feel such a strong need to have friends.

hi - I think it varies about the toddler and teen years.  Depends on so many things.  My son cheered up as he gained skills such as crawling, walking, understanding some spoken words and then learning to use language himself.  He was always educated at schools for children with autism.  I think that helped him greatly.  Small classes with a good staffing ratio and an indepth understanding of autism.  He's always had his moments when something can really upset him but he can cope much better if he's in the right environment which can meet his needs.  If he's in the wrong environment then his upset will be greater and more frequent.  This has always been the same, whether as a baby, child, teenager or adult. So for me, the early years were the most difficult but others may say different.  Depends on so many things, inc outside factors.

Ah thank you for replying.

I have never felt so lonely since found it really hard to deal with people's ignorance towards what autism actually is.

I worry every day about what the future holds for Alfie but realise I've got to take one day at a time.  He has made great progress over the last year but it's been hard work.

Did you find the toddler years the hardest or the teens?  It would be lovely to hear about your sons as you are so much further on your journey than we are.

Jade

Hi Jade,

I can only echo what Crystal has said, and I'm sure we remember enough from those early days to help you with any issues that come up.

When my son was first diagnosed aged two with 'autistic tendencies' I remember having an awful dream where he had died and I woke up sobbing. I realised it was because I had 'lost' the son I thought I had so at least on a subconscious level I must have been devestated, even if on the surface I seemed cool with it. He's 21 now and it's been hard, but he's the most important person in my life and all the more special because of it. We have a much closer relationship than I do with his older brothers.

hi Jade - just to say welcome to the site.  My son was diagnosed 3 months before his 3rd birthday, but that was a long time ago now!  I've just joined this site + am pleased I did.  There's loads of help/info + understanding here.  Getting an official diagnosis does take some getting used to, even if you already knew.  The diagnosis should help you and your child in a number of ways:  an understanding of the condition, education, benefits, support.  Yes, it's a journey that we're all on here.  Your fellow travellers will help you.