Help please!!

Hi all my 2 year old son has been diagnosed with asd and recently started nursery problem is lately he's started biting and pinching people at home with no kind of warning and today for the 1st time he pinched 2 children in nursery he can't talk and doesn't understand commands much so how can I teach him to stop I'm worried sick about him and others around him and advice would be great thanks in advance 

Parents
  • I would say that pinching is an action that has been done to him, Otherwise how else is he going to work out how to inflict a painful action on another individual. He was born innocent. He is only 2 years old.

    Always examine your son for unexplained bruising, A painful pinch, or a painful flick may have been done as a means of control. 

    My severely autistic son (Now 36) was not finally diagnosed until 3.5 years by a specialist team of pediatric Neuralogist, Language , Play and interaction team and perhaps others at a Children's hospital on being referred there. Some how at his special school later he had learned to flick very hard (and painful). Just be aware, but also remember kids do fall over and bash into things. and get bruised that way. even holding your sons arms to restrain a violent outburst quite probably will mark them with finger tips bruising delicate skin without intention to do so. So be careful.

    So consult your doctor, if somebody has spotted you son's handicap at 2 years old, that is unusual. He may be more handicapped than you realise. He will definitely need specialist education, and Local Authorities are reluctant to expend their budgets if they can get away with it. If he is severely handicapped he may even need specialist residential or transporting daily to a special school. so your social services should be involved  if you have a formal specialist diagnosis you can refer to.

    Keep a diary of meetings you have with anything to do with your son. Who you speak to and what they have said. and anything special he does like suddenly dropping down for no apparent reason, when out and about. This may well help you get mobility help if he need close support to protect him, or others such as other kids from a pinch or flick in passing.  

    I would say it would be best for your son not to try and interact in a pile of kids as he is at the bottom of the Pile for reason of age, and possible with a learning disability that needs constant supervision. and cannot communicate, He cannot express his needs, or wants except by physical action. 

    Another child has something attractive, could be just a red toy brick and he will try and get it. and a normal child not being an adult who has been trained in the needs of an autistic child will resist, and you son may well bite and get hurt back., but being autistic he will still want the red brick. 

    Even non autistic children of any age may bite another if they have a reason to do so as a last resort..    

  • Thanks alot for your reply and Yes i agree it is weird to be diagnosed so young and also that its paticularly mind of normal for kids of his aye to go though a stage like this its just mad Now quickly he changed and started this behaviour cos he had never done it before also my hv and portage worker are trying to get him fuming so he has 1 to 1 care at nursery it worried the life out of me k losing hes not already got somebody watching him all the time bit the hv insiste nursery is important for routine etc hes waiting for physio appointment but they believe he May be hypermobility and i can deffo see problems in his walking etc i have 6 older children and Yes like nothing ive dvd expieriences before bit i Will day hes the most beautiful and rewarding special little boy im in awe of him im just so lost as to what to do or Expect from him or out lives etc its a lonely road that ive never been down before so im hoping that i can get some help out of these forums if nothing else thanks again 

  • Without wishing to upset people, perhaps your Health Visitor (hv) has never seen a full blown autistic person?

    My son the youngest of 5 other brothers and sisters, Was also very liable to escape to danger fast (hyper-mobility)? from what was believed to be a safe environment. if he had any opportunity. 

    This is why he is needs 24x7 supervision and control.including within secure premises if you perhaps nod off. Certainly when out.

    Hopefully your son is not so afflicted. and his infantile autism may recede.

    I suggest if you have these or similar diagnoses written down, by his H.V. make a claim for Carers allowance, and apply for a Blue Badge. as he is, or will be more than a handful. and is a potential danger to himself and others (Pinching and Biting and running away to danger.

    Me personally, from the articles  I have read. My son was brain damaged at birth from lack of oxygen while being born. Your Child's mother (As required by Data Protection) should request her medical; records from the hospital, via your doctor may be the easiest way., just to see if there are notes such as words like "Menconium in the Birth Fluids" This is indicative of something not being right and the baby being under stress had pooped himself. 

    You may have other autistic relatives and the link to your son could be genetic. There are others who seriously believe ASD people are a natural humanoid strategic development on a Darwinian basis, who may have a role with A.I. robots.

    In Norway they don't start school until their 6th year. It will not do your son any harm to miss "Normal regimented education" if he is severely autistic. not attacking you, or other carers, during break downs will be an achievement.

    Just give him plain paper and crayons, pens and, either help, or leave him to it.

    If you are in rented accommodation, beware as he will draw on walls. everywhere.

    As I have written before! Read to him stories of a favoured character, such as Edward the Engine, Postman Pat, Peppa Pig. etc.

    If he has been brain injured somehow, he may not understand Language, (The whole Concept) excepting as a vocal music sound. He may teach himself to read and write perfectly, in his self driven search to communicate, but he can't not understand or comprehend any meaning to it initially.

Reply
  • Without wishing to upset people, perhaps your Health Visitor (hv) has never seen a full blown autistic person?

    My son the youngest of 5 other brothers and sisters, Was also very liable to escape to danger fast (hyper-mobility)? from what was believed to be a safe environment. if he had any opportunity. 

    This is why he is needs 24x7 supervision and control.including within secure premises if you perhaps nod off. Certainly when out.

    Hopefully your son is not so afflicted. and his infantile autism may recede.

    I suggest if you have these or similar diagnoses written down, by his H.V. make a claim for Carers allowance, and apply for a Blue Badge. as he is, or will be more than a handful. and is a potential danger to himself and others (Pinching and Biting and running away to danger.

    Me personally, from the articles  I have read. My son was brain damaged at birth from lack of oxygen while being born. Your Child's mother (As required by Data Protection) should request her medical; records from the hospital, via your doctor may be the easiest way., just to see if there are notes such as words like "Menconium in the Birth Fluids" This is indicative of something not being right and the baby being under stress had pooped himself. 

    You may have other autistic relatives and the link to your son could be genetic. There are others who seriously believe ASD people are a natural humanoid strategic development on a Darwinian basis, who may have a role with A.I. robots.

    In Norway they don't start school until their 6th year. It will not do your son any harm to miss "Normal regimented education" if he is severely autistic. not attacking you, or other carers, during break downs will be an achievement.

    Just give him plain paper and crayons, pens and, either help, or leave him to it.

    If you are in rented accommodation, beware as he will draw on walls. everywhere.

    As I have written before! Read to him stories of a favoured character, such as Edward the Engine, Postman Pat, Peppa Pig. etc.

    If he has been brain injured somehow, he may not understand Language, (The whole Concept) excepting as a vocal music sound. He may teach himself to read and write perfectly, in his self driven search to communicate, but he can't not understand or comprehend any meaning to it initially.

Children
  • That's a really nice idea with the rainbow. My daughter also draws these on all her pictures as well as organising her books into rainbow order! 

  • As an experienced mother, You are the best person to be able to make the best decisions for your son. I originally made my judgement on your initial posting where you say he is non verbal and seemly difficult and could see similarities with our own son's early behavior and the problems I have had a battle all his life in getting sufficient help, I currently have a complaint against our Local Authority with the Public Services Ombudsman. it does not stop! 

    As a final thought as your son seems to enjoy Colours, when it rains find him a real Rainbow in the sky. I am certain he will enjoy that experience, if he has not seen any before.

    My son has been drawing rainbows all his life.

  • Your rite my boy uses it to learn colours and numbers and while that works for him ad his mum im gonna keep using it its controlled he doesnt air watching it all day and night showing him books atm i feel wouldnt help he has many books bit tries to tear them up again thanks for your advice but i cant see how my son Learning can make him need 24 hour care hes doing what id hope for him or any child for that matter 

  • Look im not picking an argument but what does it matter if it was father or mother? Advice should be the same! And my comments about ceefax relate to several other posts in which you state that is how your son taught himself to read. 

    I have followed your advice and re-read your post but it still is a tad over dramatic to suggest that they will end up giving 24/7 care because he will become addicted to gaming or that he will try to think like an ipad! They said he was watching it ie like a TV! 

  • My son was 7 when he could read and write very well he must have got through several hundred of books by then and scribbled on and tore them, The Cee fax was an an after fact as it was a series of Pages of News printed  on a TV screen and was an interest for him at 7, He could read and write with Perfect punctuation marks and not understand or comprehend a word of it. But Thomas the Tank engine was first. If you read my words you will realise That I believed NAS50856 was the Boys Father, because I refer to His mother in the third person, but the ending "hun" as below is definitely made by the boy's Mother, sorry Mother, read what I have written as if to your son's father.

  • No worries, pecs is picture exchange communication system. It is simple pictures to indicate activities, items, People, places pretty much everything! You can use your own pictures and taylor the system to your child the idea is that if they don't have the words they choose the pictures you then repeat what it is to build vocabulary. This site has info in its communication section.

    Now next boards help with routine and understanding idea is you have pictures of what your doing and then what your doing next ie now wash hands next eat dinner again this can be made to fit your situation. 

    You can also use picture stories for behaviour such as bitting their is loads of information on this site about it. Also Google pecs and communication boards you will find loads of sites that you can either custom make and print them or purchase them for not alot. Do as much research into current methods used in nursery and school and work from there. 

    Please message me anytime ! 

  • I certainly agree he has learn loads from the ipad i cried when my son count to 5 3weeks ago he is not say in front of it all of the time he has lota of books and crayons and also a magna told me which he loves to draw on i really do do the best i can in telling him to achieve the best he can he is still only 2 thanks for your reply means alot

  • Ive not heard of the pecs board or any other communication tools bit would like to hear more if u wouldnt mind and also i know atm im just looking for things that seem to work for him to help him anyway i can i dont allow him to air on screen for hours lol hes 2 thanks hun

  • I recognise that you are from a different generation, books are without a doubt fantastic, however children use technology like this from a very young age now and it is no different to your claims that your son taught himself to read using BBC ceefax! 

    This woman has stated she is using the ipad to sing along with him it is visual stimulation mixed with interaction (same as a book) 

  • Hi the reason hv is pushing nursery is to try and encourage social skills but you don't have to send them on this you are correct. 2 weeks is not enough time for ANY child to settle down properly so don't worry yet.

    Bitting can be a normal phase for any child I know it's difficult when they are limited by verbal skills but please don't assume brain damage straight away! He might just be late developing my daughter had clots on her brain after severe infection at birth along with a 2week coma and collapsed lung add to that she was prem, we were told she would probably have severe learning difficulties she was very slow to speak and walk we no she is asd but she is working nearly 2 years ahead at school now!. 

    It is also not unusual to be diagnosed at 2 it used to be many years ago but lots of children are now. 

    Side note health visitor will always try to limit screen time if it works stick with it. Have you tried pecs boards and other communication tools? These can make alot of difference so can now and next boards

  • With the greatest of respect, Your son does not need an ipad. He is only two years old. He should be looking at BOOKS and looking at the shapes and sounds of words as you, or somebody reads them to him. He will follow the words spoken to him and associate the sounds that he hears (which may be affected by any hearing defect that he should be tested for) what is said and as heard by him with what is written, as you point and if you turn over two pages he will let you know.. He will no doubt become interested in cartoons that are shown on the TV, perhaps where you or some body els can interact with him.

    The information he gets from trying to understand his Ipad is as programmed by a machine routine should be later in life when he may have some basics. He will become addicted to it, because being autistic like my son, He will explore it to its infinite depths if he can, searching for some method to communicate with the machine to understand it. An impossible task, his mind will become a prisoner of it. like those addicted to gaming on a computer. You could end up looking after your son all your life, as we, my sons parents are doing 24x7 fighting for help . I am very near 80years old. and begin to notice it.

    I mentioned his birth records as some body could have been at fault, certainly not his mother!  You have a duty to your son to find out as a matter of course, without making any fuss, otherwise the Medical profession will clam up. His mother can always get advice from the citizens advice bureau.

    You say that he can already identify colours and shapes. he does not need an I Pad.

    He needs you to buy him a packet of white printer paper and a packet of Crayons and lots of praise for whatever he does whether meaning less or not. don't get too annoyed if they go on walls. The felt tips get ignored in our home.

    He may not be as handicapped as at first indicated. so good luck for your family and your son.

  • I also Sing alot with him with actions he loves this i wouldnt change him for the world but just wish i could help him more 

  • I do recall it taking maybe a minute to get my boy to breathe after birth so maybe he was affected by that im not sure and yeah i no i didnt want him in nursery so soon bit hv says he needs for way of routine for him he does speak colours numbers shapes etc but only when watching videos of them he Will copy but Now they are saying he shouldnt be watching his ipad so much i just feel so torn and lost im an expierienced parent bit this is all new and all u ever hear la dont do this dont do that and there is no other autism in the family i checked that thank you so much for your reply