Hi, I need help!

Grandma1955 said:

Thank you to all that have replied to my comment 'I need help', just need to let you all know that your comments have helped a great deal, and we as a family have taken on board all you have said thank you to Shelley, Ettie, Crystal and Some One, I will be buying the books recommended by Ettie and Crystal, its wonderful how much help you have provided by just writing these comments. Its been hard to think of the future, because of the toileting problems, our biggest fear is when he gets older will he be bullied for being a little different. My grandsons name is Ben he is the sunshine in our lives and now we dare believe there is a good future awaiting him, thank you, thank you so much xx

you're very welcome 

there are a lot of horror stories out there about autistim and how autistics dont get to live a 'normal ' life but they can learn certain things, it just has to be in their own way, their time, and taught in a way they understand it

i think ben is in with a very good chance if all his family are like you , concerned enough to come on here, tell a bunch of strangers personal things and be wiling to take their advice

he might face some bullying, it does seem inevitible with autism as they are so 'different', but all you can do is prepare yourself, make suer the school he goes to is aware of his needs and if anything happens you make a damn fuss about it

Thank you to all that have replied to my comment 'I need help', just need to let you all know that your comments have helped a great deal, and we as a family have taken on board all you have said thank you to Shelley, Ettie, Crystal and Some One, I will be buying the books recommended by Ettie and Crystal, its wonderful how much help you have provided by just writing these comments. Its been hard to think of the future, because of the toileting problems, our biggest fear is when he gets older will he be bullied for being a little different. My grandsons name is Ben he is the sunshine in our lives and now we dare believe there is a good future awaiting him, thank you, thank you so much xx

Grandma1955 said:

Just wanted to say hello, never done anything like this before, I have a grandson who is having a few problems, and we are waiting for him to be assessed for some form of Autism, we don't understand a lot about it and I am hoping that maybe someone on here may be able to shed some light on the subject, my grandson always seems to go off into a world of his own, he loves watching tv but when he does you can't get through to him, he ignores everything going on around him, he is 8yrs old, he finds it hard to mix well, his social skills are quite poor for his age, he loves to joke and make fun of his sister or any of us but finds it very hard to take a joke and gets very upset to the point of crying, his moods change so suddenly, he still has toileting trouble, I could go on and on with specifics but I won't just yet I just wanted to find out if any of this makes any sense to anyone. Please let me know if anyone else has had these kind of problems, thank you for reading. 

hi grandma, yes it makes perfect sense, those are classic signs of autism

basically a lot of autism revolves , from what i can understand, around the things that us neurotypicals (non autistics) take for granted, especially the senses,

autistics usually have sensitivity to sounds, touches, lights etc, so anything could stress him, say a loud noise (that we dont hear as loud) or someone/soemthing touching him and he didnt like it, and this could be why his moods change fast

they do tend to stay in their own world, especially when they are engrossed in something, like their interest/obsession, if tv is his, yes its unlikely you will get through to him even if the house is on fire  (making a wee joke)  my partners interest is games, so talking to him is impossible when hes playing/researching/involved in games in some way

a lot of autistics do still have problems with cleaning, toileting etc, my partner is a grown man but i still have to say 'get a bath/that top needs washed', he has aspergers so its not severe autism, but still has a few of the same issues

the info i found the most helpful for me was to know its a biological issue, its NOT psychological,

autism is about the brain and how it works, hence the word neurotypical-non autistic, it isnt known yet how its caused, there are a few theories but no definitive answers

Thank you Shell4429, its just a good help to know that he's not the only one that has these problems, my daughter and I noticed from him being young that something was amiss, but the docter wasn't very helpful at the beginning and we both thought we were going mad, but things began to get worse and even the teacher had noticed too, my daughter is finding it very hard as the diagnostic is taking so long and we all feel we are in limbo, we will get all the literature we can on the subject, we know that we all have to learn how best to deal with this, its like I have said, its best we get a head start on it and be prepared, thank you again for your words of encouragement, and your son sounds to be a wonderful young man.

hi grandma - an in depth assessment should clarify things about your grandson.  Autism is a spectrum, some more affected than others.  Just as some people without autism have their strengths and weaknesses so do people with ASD.  He's only 8 so a lot can happen over the years to come.  Autism is a big subject to get your head around and there are many books, articles, websites you can access.  You can't cram it in all at once.  I think it's a mixture of getting up to speed on the theory and then seeing how that applies to your grandson, if he does get an ASD diagnosis.  For example some people with autism are sensitive to touch, or smells, or noise.  On the other hand some are not.  My son loves certain tv programmes as well - the ones he can understand.  He'll ignore the ones he doesn't understand.  I found 3 books very interesting :  the curious incident of the dog in the night-time...nobody nowhere.....somebody somewhere. Also loads of info on the nas site.  If your grandson is diagnosed with ASD you'll get a sw + they will be able to help in a number of ways as well.

Hi there - my son has just been diagnosed and our wonderful doctor recommended we read a book called Kids in the Syndrome Mix. We have found it a really useful, easy to read and understand book.  Your grandson is lucky to have such a supportive family all around him. I hope you get the answers you want and the support you need, good luck.

Hi Grandma1955,

My name is Shelley. My son is grown up now but when he was 8 years old he was quite a lot like you described your grandson. Social skill problems, toileting problems. He was diagnosed with Aspergers at 9 years old. He needed one on one support in the classroom right up until he left college last year but he is intelligent, incredibly articulate and can be very funny. He can take a joke now up to a point but doesn't like it to go over the top, but when he was a child he couldn't stand to made fun of even in a friendly way. I wish your family luck with the diagnostic process and it might help to read some literature on the subject too.