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hi

crystal12

hi everyone.  I'm mum to a young adult man with autism.  He's in supported living. I first came across the nas when he was about 4 when they were very helpful in letting us access a course they'd arranged.  I've been a member for years but didn't realise there was a discussion forum.....really pleased about that!  We've certainly had our ups and downs over the yrs, to put it mildly, so I hope I can be a useful contributor and also learn from all of you.

Parents

  • hi Shelley + Scorpion0x17 - no it isn't anyone's fault.  The days of mothers getting the blame are well behind us and have been totally discredited.  Maybe one day they'll know how it happens.  Most people don't understand about autism so don't appreciate how we have to do some things differently.  Some people can be hurtful.  I can't see my son meeting someone and being their partner.  I do wish he could experience a relationship like that.  I've always said that as long as he's content and/or happy, then so am I.  I've spent a lot of time over the years trying to get the best for him - school, benefits, carers etc.  At times when he's been unhappy I've felt I have ultimate responsibility for that because I'm his mother and have blamed myself, saying I should have known better.  Hindsight is wonderful, isn't it.  You think you're on top of everything and find out you're not.  Others can let you down, sometimes early on, sometimes later.  Then I've intervened on his behalf because he can't put it right himself.  We never stop learning about autism.

Reply

  • hi Shelley + Scorpion0x17 - no it isn't anyone's fault.  The days of mothers getting the blame are well behind us and have been totally discredited.  Maybe one day they'll know how it happens.  Most people don't understand about autism so don't appreciate how we have to do some things differently.  Some people can be hurtful.  I can't see my son meeting someone and being their partner.  I do wish he could experience a relationship like that.  I've always said that as long as he's content and/or happy, then so am I.  I've spent a lot of time over the years trying to get the best for him - school, benefits, carers etc.  At times when he's been unhappy I've felt I have ultimate responsibility for that because I'm his mother and have blamed myself, saying I should have known better.  Hindsight is wonderful, isn't it.  You think you're on top of everything and find out you're not.  Others can let you down, sometimes early on, sometimes later.  Then I've intervened on his behalf because he can't put it right himself.  We never stop learning about autism.

Children
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