• Replies 19 replies
  • Subscribers 71 subscribers
  • Views 3824 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

hi

crystal12

hi everyone.  I'm mum to a young adult man with autism.  He's in supported living. I first came across the nas when he was about 4 when they were very helpful in letting us access a course they'd arranged.  I've been a member for years but didn't realise there was a discussion forum.....really pleased about that!  We've certainly had our ups and downs over the yrs, to put it mildly, so I hope I can be a useful contributor and also learn from all of you.

Parents

  • I got a bit worried there for a time, reading that your good parenting had resulted in your son being independent, because my son is far from it. However I read further and saw this wasn't the case. So I'm not a poor parent! :( I don't think so anyway. But I've always had to battle with people who think I am too soft, that I mollycoddle him. It annoys me because they don't see enough of him to realise that he can't help being unable to organise himself, the fatigue, the lack of motivation. Even my own family, including his father (who also has mild ASD) accuse me of this. Sometimes perhaps I could be firmer, get angry with him, but his life is already so challenging I don't feel that it is appropriate. It's also not how I feel like dealing with him. Crystal I wonder if you share my feelings of guilt, that I gave birth to him and he won't ever be able to lead a normal life. I know it's ridiculous, that I am not responsible, yet I can't help feeling guilty all the same. I've even stayed single for the last five years, because I don't feel it's fair for me to have a relationship if it's something he won't have. It's not out of the question that he will find someone but until he does I can't envision myself becoming involved with anyone. At the same time I think that possibly if I had someone it might make our lives easier!

Reply

  • I got a bit worried there for a time, reading that your good parenting had resulted in your son being independent, because my son is far from it. However I read further and saw this wasn't the case. So I'm not a poor parent! :( I don't think so anyway. But I've always had to battle with people who think I am too soft, that I mollycoddle him. It annoys me because they don't see enough of him to realise that he can't help being unable to organise himself, the fatigue, the lack of motivation. Even my own family, including his father (who also has mild ASD) accuse me of this. Sometimes perhaps I could be firmer, get angry with him, but his life is already so challenging I don't feel that it is appropriate. It's also not how I feel like dealing with him. Crystal I wonder if you share my feelings of guilt, that I gave birth to him and he won't ever be able to lead a normal life. I know it's ridiculous, that I am not responsible, yet I can't help feeling guilty all the same. I've even stayed single for the last five years, because I don't feel it's fair for me to have a relationship if it's something he won't have. It's not out of the question that he will find someone but until he does I can't envision myself becoming involved with anyone. At the same time I think that possibly if I had someone it might make our lives easier!

Children
No Data