Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all, long story short I've been on the waiting list for ASD evaluation for 12 months and hoping for a positive result in Spring, did an awful lot of blogging and connecting with others via social media last year and feel so much in common with most others on the spectrum, but then realised that social media is a real source of stress for me and withdrew completely from all platforms in Autumn last year.
I miss the connections I made, but can't risk going back as I'm pretty sure I'll end up consumed by it and stressed again. Hopefully I can make some good friends here. I tried Wrong Planet but chose a non-anonymous username that I couldn't then get rid of, and think that remaining anonymous here might allow me to discuss more freely.
I'm middle-aged, and male.
The impact of ASD on me is (as far as I know):
For the last 20 or so years leading up to autumn 2017 I had been unknowingly masking all of this using intellectual effort, but then the elastic snapped and I suffered what I'm describing as a mental burnout equivalent to breaking both arms and both legs. Now I'm carefully rebuilding myself in the light of all of this new knowledge, knowing that I need to try extra hard to monitor my stress level (see above re interoception and alexithymia) and also knowing that what I thought was a comfortable 5/10 was closer to 95/100 and there are zones below where the happy people live.
That's probably enough for now! I genuinely do care about other people too :-).
I will rate how much this is a sign of autism from 1-10 1 being not a sign of autism and 10 being 100% a sign
Yes, this is a sign of ASD / Autism, it is extremely hard to lie with autism, as it makes you feel guilty. 8/10
"The Zone" from what I can guess, is the right mental place, then yes. 5/10
Eye contact really hurts me aswell. 10/10
Sensitivity to some textures, 3/10
difficulty listening to voices and drowning out voices, 8/10
sensitivity to changing smells and temperatures, 5/10
Hyperfocus - 8/10
Forgetting what to do next, 9/10
Can't easily create imagery in the head, 7/10
Feeling unable to be calm around other people, 8/10
I'd say you have autism, as I can relate to about 80% of the things you listed there.
Thanks MemeConsumer, that's helpful to me.
Always happy to help.