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New Member - Advice Required

Charlied

Hi

We are new to the forum and would really welcome some advice. We live in Faversham in Kent.

Our son is 10 and was diagnosed with ASD around 8 months ago, this happened to coincide with the time that we moved house.

He found it very hard to cope with the move and his anxieties have manifested themselves in violence towards us.

He is never violent to other people only his close family. Due to his size he is really hurting me (mum) and his younger brother.

Because we have moved to a different health authority we have found it very difficult to get help. We are still waiting to see someone to help us understand how to deal with his behaviour. His paeditrician has referred us to a support group but who knows when we will actually manage to see them.

Can anyone point us in the right direction to get help to cope with his behaviour? We feel we need strategies to prevent him from going into violent tantrums. We also need advice on how best to deal with him during the tantrum. And also what to do afterwards, should we try and discuss it with him or leave him alone?

Because of the tantrums we also find it difficult to enforce any rules for fear of it leading to a tantrum. He constantly answers back and hits out for example if we ask him to get ready for bed, but if we try and discipline him it escalates.

We would be very grateful of any advice.

Parents

  • Hi There- I am new to the forum.  It does sound a real struggle that you are having.  I would definately try and make contact even by phone with the support group leader that the paediatrician told you about, they can give a wealth of info to you about how to help your son with the anger he is experiencing, after all its about helping him and in the process helping yourself and siblings.  I wonder if he is struggl;ing witrh his diagnosis does he knows what it means for him? Its hard enough for otherr familly members to understand but it must be worse for those who actually have been given the diagnosis.  I dont know your circumstances but I would probably start at base 1 and talk about the diagnosis with him then move onto talking about the move in away in which he can understand and make sense of.  Then I would look at ways in which you can practicaly help him with routines etc eg. visual aids, social stories, power cards.  Its really about creating an atmosphere in which he feels safe and can talk with you.  There is so much you can do but without knowing your circumstances its difficult.  He may also be struggling if the move involved a school change and then there is the impending secondary school application and puberty to think about.  Basically any or all of these things may be impacting on him.  I hope ive said something useful but if you want any more ideas let me know!  Good luck 

Reply

  • Hi There- I am new to the forum.  It does sound a real struggle that you are having.  I would definately try and make contact even by phone with the support group leader that the paediatrician told you about, they can give a wealth of info to you about how to help your son with the anger he is experiencing, after all its about helping him and in the process helping yourself and siblings.  I wonder if he is struggl;ing witrh his diagnosis does he knows what it means for him? Its hard enough for otherr familly members to understand but it must be worse for those who actually have been given the diagnosis.  I dont know your circumstances but I would probably start at base 1 and talk about the diagnosis with him then move onto talking about the move in away in which he can understand and make sense of.  Then I would look at ways in which you can practicaly help him with routines etc eg. visual aids, social stories, power cards.  Its really about creating an atmosphere in which he feels safe and can talk with you.  There is so much you can do but without knowing your circumstances its difficult.  He may also be struggling if the move involved a school change and then there is the impending secondary school application and puberty to think about.  Basically any or all of these things may be impacting on him.  I hope ive said something useful but if you want any more ideas let me know!  Good luck 

Children
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