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New Member - Advice Required

Charlied

Hi

We are new to the forum and would really welcome some advice. We live in Faversham in Kent.

Our son is 10 and was diagnosed with ASD around 8 months ago, this happened to coincide with the time that we moved house.

He found it very hard to cope with the move and his anxieties have manifested themselves in violence towards us.

He is never violent to other people only his close family. Due to his size he is really hurting me (mum) and his younger brother.

Because we have moved to a different health authority we have found it very difficult to get help. We are still waiting to see someone to help us understand how to deal with his behaviour. His paeditrician has referred us to a support group but who knows when we will actually manage to see them.

Can anyone point us in the right direction to get help to cope with his behaviour? We feel we need strategies to prevent him from going into violent tantrums. We also need advice on how best to deal with him during the tantrum. And also what to do afterwards, should we try and discuss it with him or leave him alone?

Because of the tantrums we also find it difficult to enforce any rules for fear of it leading to a tantrum. He constantly answers back and hits out for example if we ask him to get ready for bed, but if we try and discipline him it escalates.

We would be very grateful of any advice.

Parents

  • hi there  charlied, i dont know what to say to be honest,im a bit overwhelmed myself here by all the people who are being left to cope with all this alone while the government and all related do nothing to help

    what did your new health authority say? ( im gonna assume they dont know much about autism and thats part of the problem)

    all i can say is the same thing i just said a wee min ago in another post, try to figure out what causes his tantrums because it might not just be his behaviour towards say a rule you put down that he doesnt like, there might be something else, a sound/feeling etcetc that he might associate with that rule or even area in the house you are speaking to him

    when my partner is in the midst of an 'autistic rage' the best thing for me is to get out of his road and let him deal with it, so i think it might be the same, as nothing i do seems to make a difference and only seems to add to his frustration/anger, even when he seems calm right after, its not always the case

    and when he is calm you sit down with him and try to explain what this rule is why it needs to be followed etc, and find some way to make it positive for him, ie give him something else in replace of that, say if he follows that rule it leaves more time/money for something else, say him getting that new game he wants or whatever

    which i think might be more likely to allow him to consider it as he gains something from it in the end

Reply

  • hi there  charlied, i dont know what to say to be honest,im a bit overwhelmed myself here by all the people who are being left to cope with all this alone while the government and all related do nothing to help

    what did your new health authority say? ( im gonna assume they dont know much about autism and thats part of the problem)

    all i can say is the same thing i just said a wee min ago in another post, try to figure out what causes his tantrums because it might not just be his behaviour towards say a rule you put down that he doesnt like, there might be something else, a sound/feeling etcetc that he might associate with that rule or even area in the house you are speaking to him

    when my partner is in the midst of an 'autistic rage' the best thing for me is to get out of his road and let him deal with it, so i think it might be the same, as nothing i do seems to make a difference and only seems to add to his frustration/anger, even when he seems calm right after, its not always the case

    and when he is calm you sit down with him and try to explain what this rule is why it needs to be followed etc, and find some way to make it positive for him, ie give him something else in replace of that, say if he follows that rule it leaves more time/money for something else, say him getting that new game he wants or whatever

    which i think might be more likely to allow him to consider it as he gains something from it in the end

Children
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