Published on 12, July, 2020
hello everyone first off how do I edit my profile I keep following links to new community and can't find the menu that is supposedly at the top of the page!?
I am the parent of four children (all grown up) my older son has autism, bipolar and learning difficulties and I am now coming to terms with the likelihood that my older daughter is somewhere on the spectrum. This has been a much more painful realisation as she seemed so 'normal' (for want of a better word) as a child - such a happy little girl always smiling and though quiet at school she made good friends and had a good social life as a teenager.
Fast forward to her 20's and after graduating from uni she gradually became more and more withdrawn to the point now where in her early 30's (apart from going to work) she is a total recluse and spends her life locked away in her room . (She lives with me and my husband and has done for the past 3 years) She suffers from depression and has been on anti depressants for several years. She was also referred to a counsellor by her GP and had a few weeks of CBT which she says didn't help her at all. She has always been a shy girl and awkward in social situations but because of her increasing isolation she seems to have become more and more out of touch with reality. When I try and talk to her she is either asleep or watching something on her ipad, she seems to resent the intrusion and all her responses are angry and quite aggressive. I try to stay calm and supportive but it is really hard. I always seem to wind up feeling exasperated. She seems to blame me for all her troubles and yet I am one of the few people left that she tolerates. She has already fallen out with her dad and her sister and though she sees her grandmother quite regularly even that relationship seems to be breaking down.
I could go on for hours ( she is always on my mind) but that's probably enough ... I would really welcome your thoughts,
Hi Anna
Girls are better at hiding ASD. Don't beat yourself up over it.
I'm Aspergers and I know that all I want from life is peace and order.
The fact your daughter works is great - at least she's interfacing with the world. The fact she lives with you means she probably considers home to be her sanctuary.
How do you interface to her? You may be accidentally trying to talk to her in the periods that she's winding down from the day or at times her brain just isn't in the game. If she's internally stressed, you might just be the extra 1% that pushes her over the edge - and you get the full blast of what she can't vent through the day at work.
Do you e-mail her at all? It can be a much lower stress way of talking to her - she doesn't have to reply straight away and she can formulate a correct answer without getting tongue-tied and stressed. It can be a good way of taking the face-to-face stress out of the equation.
Does she talk to on-line friends? (again, they are at arms length so it's on her terms).