• Replies 9 replies
  • Subscribers 70 subscribers
  • Views 2410 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Introduction and advice please

Will

Hi,

This is my first post on this forum; or any forum for that matter. My name is Will and I am father to a beautiful little man called Jacob. 

I am at work so will keep this condensed for now. My niece and nephew are both autistic one is 17 and one is 12, so I have grown up with a good understanding of the behaviours and traits displayed to a certain degree. 

I noticed certain traits in my son from as young as 6 months old; I couldn’t really explain it, but I had a gut feeling he may be autistic. Anyway he is now approaching 2 in Feb and my feelings have been pretty much confirmed. He does not speak at all, flaps his hands, can become very distressed with certain things. I wont go on as those are not the issue. 

He has not be formally diagnosed yet, but has been in constant contact with health worker and now speech & language. She has referred him to paediatrician who will proceed with his care and hopefully come to a conclusive diagnosis. 

Ok so that is the summary; the reason I am here is of course for support, to know I am doing the right thing with my wife for our boy. We both work full time and it is hard leaving him. He is the most wonderful, loving little man, and is such a good boy. He has the odd meltdown, which is very upsetting, as only myself or my wife can calm him down.

At present his grandparents on both my side and my wife’s side split the child care during the week. This works well, he loves his grandparents and they have come to know how to make his days comfortable and as happy as possible. 

The big question I have is nursery. We tried when he was younger and he was beside himself, it was heart-breaking so we took him straight out. We are now going to try again when he hits 2. Just 3 hours on an afternoon twice a week, so he can integrate with other children. This terrifies me, it is fast approaching and I don’t think he will cope. He would be fine as long as one of us was sat in the room; but to be on his own for that long really scares me; I think he will get very upset. 

We have visited and he enjoyed the room, was ok with the lady there, but his mam and dad we present which is the huge difference. So really I was wondering if people could share their experience with nursery please and any advice. It would be greatly appreciated. He doesn’t have to go at 2, but would we be doing the wrong thing to not have him go? Myself and my wife just want what is best for our boy.

Thanks

Will

Parents

  • Hi, 

    I don't think you would be wrong if he didn't go at 2, it does depend on the child! Mine have all been different my 8 year old (undiagnosed asd) hated being separated at playgroup she would scream hysterically for about 45 mins she still doesn't like the initial separation from me when she goes in to class in the morning although she does settle quickly now. My youngest daughter literally couldn't wait to start and never had any problems. 

    It is really up to you and your wife when he goes it may be worth trying to see if he can manage it and if not defer it for a year or until he has been diagnosed and possibly consider a specialist setting.

    It is clearly obvious that you are a devoted father who wants the best for his child go with your gut if you feel it's to much then wait.

    Good luck 

    Josie 

  • in reply to NAS39248

    Thank you ever so much for your kind and helpful response. My gut is telling me he isn't ready, but I don't want to be acting out of selfish reasons because the thought of it terrifies me. We have to cut his hair for him, we bought silent hair clippers and we make a night out of it, it take ages haha. But it is so much better than the hairdressers, we tried 7 times, and each time was worse, my heart broke. It wasn't him being naughty he was distraught, I thought he was going to be sick he was crying so much. Me and my wife said until he understands what is happening we will cut his hair, which he still doesn't exactly love, but no tears...just runs away haha :)

  • in reply to Will

    It is natural to protect them! My daughter didn't start until nearly 3.5 years old as she just couldn't handle it and nor could I, we don't have the issue with hair cuts luckily but brushing it and washing are always fun she can't stand water near her face even a stray drip leads to hysterical tears and trying to jump out the bath, it used to be worse as we couldn't get her in the bath! 

    As I said go with your instincts you know your child the best.

  • in reply to NAS39248

    Thank you for taking the time to reply. It is very helpful. 

Reply Children
No Data