Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi Everyone!
I've had a quick look through some recent posts and can really relate to what this community forum is all about, so I decided to write my own thread, to hopefully relieve some pressure and frustration I've built up.
I'm really bad at articulating when I type, so I hope I can get my point across, and I hope you understand me.
Having come from a dysfunctional family, I've never had the easiest of upbringings. My parents tried their best as everyone does with the cards they are handed, but having 2 older brothers who 1. has schizophrenia, and the 2nd has Bi-polar I was never really a priority growing up, and missed out on a 'normal' childhood. Not to mention my mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 8 years ago. I know it hasn't been easy for anybody, but thankfully things are settled with them now and certain things are in place in terms of their care etc etc.
I have only really started thinking about the possibility of me having autism very recently, I have researched online and strongly believe that something isn't quite right and I know this hasn't just appeared recently, I'm talking from many years ago.
Some examples...
1. I have very ridged and structured routines in place. In my mind I plan ahead, I'm very organised, but to the point if anything was to interrupt this, then you would soon no about it. I cannot go about my day peacefully if these tasks are not done. Tidying is a big issue, everything has it's place, and I hate clutter. It's makes me physically angry...
2. I've had melt downs before, just by my friend speaking to me, asking me how I am. They are being kind and genuinely want to know how I am. But to me they are interfering and trying to upset me, I can't quite grasp the understanding of others behaviours.
3. I will often say the wrong thing at the wrong time. I will make a sarcastic joke for example if a friends family member has died... To me I am being funny so why can't that person understand that.
4. Often people will say to me I lack empathy and emotion, I honestly struggle to understand people sometimes and unless they agree or do things my way it's as if I can't even take their thoughts on board.
5. Being by myself is my favourite thing to do. If I have to socialise it's like I have to prepare for a week before to 'get myself ready' I can't do anything spontaneously, everything has to be planned. Change is a big no no.
6. It doesn't necessarily effect me too much, but when the topic comes about, everybody knows about it. I have an extreme fridge magnet obsession. If I hear of somebody going abroad or away somewhere different to their home I HAVE to ask them to buy me a fridge magnet. Even if I don't know them that well. It's like a pain in me that hurts if I don;t get this magnet.
I believe my main issue is dealing with emotions and behaviours of others, and should I not understand the situation of something I close up, become withdrawn or 'mardy' as some may say.
Often I don't know how to react, what to say, what to do in situations...
I've had a partner for 12 years now, we split up in March this year but we are trying to work through things at the minute. But because of my problems i seem to be experiencing it's proving very difficult .
I feel my life has ground to a hault. I visited my GP about these problems and although he didn't really offer any empathy, or support he said he's referred me to 'Let's talk - Wellbeing' and I should hear back in 6 - 8 weeks! I'm going out of my mind with thoughts, worries, that i'm not being taken seriously, how do I tell my friend's what's happening on so on.
I don't even know if he has referred me to an appropriate place, has anybody been to this place before? or spoken to them?
I'm thinking of going private at this rate, I really can't wait this long for an assessment, but don;t really know what route to take, who to speak to etc?
Thanks for listening
hello and welcome!
Loads oi what you say resonates with me..in fact most of your pints above do!!
Re: point 6 There is a thread on here about obsession that you will find rings plenty of bells!
Re: appt..there is a search facility here on the NAS website for diagnostic services etc, that you could use to see if there are any private ones near you.