Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, Thanks for letting me join your forum.
I have a ten year old. I don't know where to begin really.
Iv managed to get her referral/diagnoses bought forward to the spring due to stressful circumstances making everything worse.
Flower (not real name) has always shown signs of being on the spectrum but no one would listen.
She never played with her toys or joined in if you played with her. Would sit in her pushchair and go for hours without doing or saying much.
Its been and is continuing to be eye opening for me. Flower hasn't been to school since last spring, well only part time.
Luckily Iv found a school that has a higher level of children with diagnoses and cater for everyone very well.
They are being great and Im hoping to get her going back from next week starting at later time.
Her rages really effect me and recently Iv been kicked a lot. Flower fiddles with things and breaks them, Iv also been told she cannot be left in a corridor at school on her own and says lots of inappropriate stuff. Also still not much eye contact. I cannot get her out of her bedroom at the moment or bed. I did manage to get her into the shower last week which I really praised her for.
We have gone through a very unsettled year with me breaking my marriage up that was abusive. That has not helped as my ex is very image conscious and cannot deal with our daughters communication and anxiety in a mature way.
Im stuck in the house at the mo and cannot work as Flowers at home.
I would love some tips on communication and will look on the website for some.
Im also going to look at some books.
Iv been in touch with Derbyshire Autism Services today and Im hoping they will come back to me.
A big hello to you all
Hartleysmum (that's the dog)
You are an Unrecognised Unpaid Family Carer of Last Resort. The Fact that your daughter's school say's she cannot be left in a corridor on her own say's it all. Somebody must fund her care. This will need obviously need somebody to supervise your daughter out of class for her protection in the first instance.
I suggest that you see your GP with your daughter ASAP and explain you need your daughter to see a specialist to confirm that she needs help from a carer at the school as a priority, and that yourself as a carer need some respite from the local authority. This is I believe is a week where Carers UK are trying to get all Local authorities to give carers such as yourself a statement of your needs as a Carer. (Google Carers UK). Your school has a budget every spring That is too long to wait to get her recognised, as you should get help from your local authority.now. before she moves to secondary schooling where you will have to start all over again, always off budget.
As for a handicapped most probably autistic swearing profanities. This I will say is Normal. Work on the assumption that her classmates taught her those words, because they will know she repeats them and repeats them many times. This is autistic behavior and she repeats them also because of the shocked reaction she gets from adults. It would certainly give some of the tykes I have known a laugh at your daughters expense, who probably does not know the meaning of the words only the reaction they achieve.. On a well known Estate I was working on 40 years ago, I once in passing rebuked a 10 or 11 year old child with a baby in a Pram in her charge teaching it to say "F. Off" over and over again, for when others stuck their head in the pram to see the baby, only to get a trained response from the child as its first words. I presume your daughter has been taught whatever, that is what some kids do.
It is good that you are trying to raise awareness of carers but most parents don't really consider them selves "unpaid carers of last resort" in some cases this is true but most parents here are just looking for guidance. Also carers week was 11-17th of June