Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, im Hayley, I'm 29 but I don't feel it. I'm not diagnosed with autism - but the more unread the more it just makes sense. I always knew there was something different about me fron other people, not special but something I couldn't out my finger on. I have always struggled through life- early years I was in the lowest sets in classas because I didn't understand what teachers were talking about. I would often go into my own little world, never cause a fuss for anyone else but just refit off somewhere. I wasn't a bad kid but was always in detention for not doing my work. I struggled in secondary school too, very muxh kept myself to myself and ended up being bullied a lot. Had strange fascinations with things and I would always play out scenarios in my head without talking to anybody. I was always really good at art and music but everything else was beyond me. After a string of unsuccessful relationships and unsuccessful career options I have gone back to college to study art, but even know I still find myself playing with pencils or sitting crosslegged looking at colours. I have befriended a group of girls 10 years younger than me and I feel comfortable because I still feel like a child.
Does this sound like it could be autism or am I way off here? Many thanks x
Yes, I have witnessed two specific instances of an autistic youth playing with much younger girls who were the only persons to play with them, because of rejection by similar age youths, such as myself who simply got fed up as a young person supplying a now realised social need 66 years ago and the second was a similar group of young girls playing with a much older youth about 30 years ago, The benefit for the younger girls was they could boss the young man about in their aspirations to grow up, a situation that may not have lasted more than the single occurrence I witnessed.
But it was my brief friendship contact with the earlier youth that, I recognised a similarity with my son..who is autistic when he was aged about 3 years.
With regards to your age difference to your friends, this is negligible to somebody of my age.
I too studied at college when aged 23 plus some of my friends were younger and some older. If you have an active Students Union You should try to participate in helping with some of the their activities for students, They may well appreciate someone such as yourself who has worldly experience,
But don't get carried away and let your studies suffer..
I can only reinforce my recommendation to speak to Your College Union Officer first and explain that you believe you are an undiagnosed autistic person and get their help to speak to the College Medical staff and a GP. Because it would appear to me you have met condition that others autistic persons have..
I suggest that you get a print out of what myself and others write here to reinforce your request, because it may well help you to explain what you are talking about.and also in how your studies are perceived by your college.
I write as an ex Student Union Helper. and a parent of a severely autistic adult son requiring 24 x 7 Care..
Thankyou for your input on this, it's helpful that you know so much about it. It's actually a big help knowing that there may actually be a reason as to why I've always been struggling. Even at 29 where I would have thought I'd grow out of it. It's still a struggle. I don't have many friends now because they're all off doing grown up thibgs like paying mortgages, getting married and starting families. I feel like I can barely look after myself and wouldn't know how to cope on my own. For this reason I'm seen as pathetic and dumb. Your son is lucky that you are understanding of his needs.