Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
I'm someone with Asperger syndrome and I received this diagnosis four and a half years ago, after wondering why I seemed 'different' to other 'normal' people. At the time, I thought that knowing what I had would be something positive as I'd be able to explain to people what I had and why I was different and that those other people would be able to help me a little more, now that they knew what kind of disability I had, though for so long I wasn't aware that I had what was classed as a disability. I should mention that I'm unemployed and I naively thought that getting my diagnosis would help to make a positive difference in this regard.
Sadly, that didn't happen and unfortunately I'm now in two minds about whether I should have bothered finding out about myself at all, as I've come to realize that not only do the majority of people still know nothing about Asperger syndrome (but then I guess that was to be expected, since nobody really still understands what autism is), but it's also made me pretty cynical and unfortunately has put me off people a little, at least in being around them. But because I'm unemployed and though I don't like being around groups of people, the people I see who are supposedly trying to help me get into full-time employment keep on putting me among other groups of people and I'm the one who's expected to make the first move in getting to know the other members, though it's in this area that I have the most difficulty, hence my cynical attitude, since those other people seem more concerned about doing their own jobs, than in helping someone with this kind of disability, as it's something they can't or don't want to understand or to find out anything about.
Anyway, that's enough of my feeling sorry for myself, though I'm not one of those people who can pretend to have a positive attitude, when they're feeling anything, but positive. However, because I don't want this introduction to be completely sombre, I should mention that I like writing stories in my spare time and in fact, if it hadn't been for my story writing, I think I would have gone completely loopy way before now! Anyway, being able to write my stories is my solace and if anyone isn't put off by the first two paragraphs about myself (though it's better I should be honest about myself), I'd be interested in hearing from other fellow writers. If possible and if other people visiting this community are interested, I could add links so they could read some of the stories I've already written. I've written a science fiction/superhero young adult series called "Khalan & Jane" and a children's series called "Sarah & Emma". The "Khalan & Jane" series is comprised at this present time of three novels, three short story collections and a novella featuring the two main characters, Khalan and Jane Zhal, while "Sarah & Emma" currently consists of twelve short stories featuring the adventures of the two sisters, Sarah and Emma Clarke.
I hope I haven't put people off getting in touch, but I am one of life's cynics, I'm sorry to say and like I said before, it's better to be honest about the kind of person I am. Anyway, I look forward to hearing from other people who share my condition/disability on this site and who might be story writers too or any other kind of writer.
Culcheth36
P.S. As well as my story writing, I'm also learning French online, as it's always been one of my regrets that I never learned another language. Though I can't say I'm going to become a fluent French speaker in the foreseeable future, I'm a little more confident that I'll be able to read some French now and to understand what I'm reading!
Hello it's good to meet you.
I appreciate your honesty. I am waiting to see if I get a diagnosis and I know that even if I do the challenges will continue. If diagnosed I think I will be more accepting and forgiving of what I have always seen as character weaknesses, but I am not sure anyone else will change their opinion of me.
There are other people here who are keen writers and I am sure you will enjoy getting to know them. I have done some writing in the past but this was non-fiction - research studies, learning materials, book chapters and encyclopaedia entries.
Learning a language is a great idea! I often regret not carrying on improving my French and German after leaving school. I spoke both languages reasonably well then, but skills fade over the years means I would struggle now!
I am really disappointed that the people who are supposed to be helping you find employment are so uninformed about the type of adjustments that autistic people need. It sounds as if they are expecting you to make all the accommodations yourself.
On a more cheerful note your writing sounds really interesting and you are clearly a prolific author. Writing is a great way to be creative and communicate without the stress of having to engage with other people directly.
I do hope you enjoy being part of this community.
Hi Sunflower,
Thanks for replying to me and sorry that I've left it a week before I replied back! I was basically feeling sorry for myself, hence my unburdening, but yeah, it still continues to be a problem that no one, including myself really understands autism, but it's going to be a problem for those with jobs as well as those who aren't working. At the moment, there's a petition to put mental health first aiders in the work place, which needs 3,000 signatures and I've added my name to that, as I know that there are loads of people, famous ones too, who have the same problems. I hope you're able to get a diagnosis. When I got mine back in 2014, the clinical psychologist I saw was very nice and very patient, but then she did have knowledge about the condition, which did make it easier for me to talk about it. I suppose the people I'm seeing on these work things I have to carry out would love to be able to make those adjustments, but unfortunately they don't have the resources or the means or the necessary knowledge or understanding.
Anyway, I'm glad you got in touch. Yeah, it's good that I'm able to write stories, which is therapeutic for me. I'm still learning French, which I should hopefully have finished sometime in January next year! After that, I may try learning some Spanish or German, seeing as you can learn it for free on the Internet and it doesn't hurt having one or two extra languages to hand. My sister learned some Spanish while she was at university, so should I start learning it, I can practice my Spanish language skills with her.
Let me know when you get your diagnosis.
Hello John,
No need to apologise, we often have long gaps in conversations here. Everyone understands the need to taken breaks.
I replied last night, but my message just disappeared - it happens sometimes on this forum! I am now authenticated autistic. I got my feedback and diagnosis at a meeting on Friday afternoon.
More than anything else being part of this online community confirmed I am autistic. We're all quite different but we have things in common.
My mum did voluntary mental health work when I was a child and I used to go with her. Later at work I was called upon to help colleagues having some kind of crisis. I now realise some of these were meltdowns.
I told a manager at work last week that I was being assessed for autism and had high levels of anxiety. She was really supportive and told me she had just been on a mental health awareness training course.
Another of my managers is a pseudo psychologist. I am finding it hard to disclose my diagnosis to her as she totally rejected the idea I could be autistic. She has also been unhelpful in accommodating my hearing loss and Dupuytren Disease.
I work for a 'Disability Confident' 'Two Ticks' employer but this is not always apparent at team level. I understand how much pressure there is on managers, but it is hard to be told "I haven't got time for this" when you are experiencing significant difficulties at work.
For the time being my foot has saved me! I walked far too much trying to reduce anxiety and ended up with bursitis and tendonitis. I have had to take several weeks off work. It's quite miraculous how these things happen sometimes.
Writing down memories of my childhood, adolescence and early adulthood was very emotional. I cried for the bewildered child, the angst ridden adolescent and the confused young adult.
I'm replaying my life again now paying attention to the different and joyful things that made me feel fully alive. My life has been a quest, a restless adventure, and I've only just discovered what I was searching for!
I anticipate some kind of new beginning career-wise but at the moment I have no idea what it will be!
A bientot!
Rose
Hi Rose,
I'm glad you got your diagnosis. It was my Mum who thought I might be on the autism spectrum, after she'd been reading about it and she'd noticed the same signs in me. I'm glad one of your managers has been supportive, but your other manager sounds a bit useless! I think I suffer from anxiety too, but being male and the thing of society for men to keep things to themselves, I've never told anyone that I get anxious. I was talking to my Mum again and she told me I should tell people when I'm anxious or just feeling general anxiety.
I try to do a bit of walking too and when I don't need to catch a bus, I often tend to walk to places. However, I'm giving blood today as a regular blood donor, so I'm going to have to catch a bus back. I hope your foot gets better soon.
If you are looking for a new career, then I hope you manage to find what you want to do. At the moment all I'm aware of are the things I don't want to do, so I'm trying to decide what I do want to do and what I can do.
Anyway, I'm still busy writing my stories so that gives me something to do, so I'll have to see if I can put them on some kind of blog.
À bientôt!
John