New to this particular website, seeking opinions.

Hello, I'm an 18 year-old person. I am starting University in September. 

My partner altered me to my autistic traits about a year ago, and while I had done research into Autistic Spectrum Disorders before that I didn't really think much of it applied to me (apart from acute sensitivity to sound, stimming and taking things in a literal manner). 

I've taken a variety of online quizzes, although I do not completely trust their validity without the guidance of a professional to clarify and elaborate on the intentions and meanings of the questions. 

I scored:-

  • AQ - 41
  • EQ - 8
  • SQ - 68
  • Eyes test - 11
  • Rdos - Aspie score 180 of 200, Neurotypical score 13 of 200
  • Alexythmia test - 178 out of a possible 185. 

I am very unsure as to whether or not I have an Autistic Spectrum disorder, because there are extenuating circumstances surrounding my childhood - moderate to severe physical and emotional neglect and sexual abuse, and minor emotional and physical abuse between the ages of 7-18 for the emotional abuse and neglect, and indeterminate beginning age for the sexual abuse but it ended around age 13 - which have most likely attributed to a decrease in emotional intelligence, accounting for the high alexythmia and poor EQ score. 

Because of the childhood circumstances mentioned it is very difficult for me to get reliable information about my behaviour as a child.

I know that I was extremely rigid in my adherence to 'the rules' as I saw them. I would not swear, I walked away from my mother in shops when she started stealing, I did not find it at all amusing when other children would break 'the rules' and would either ignore them or tell them to stop. I was highly verbal, my spoken language skills developed very early, I said my first word at five months old (according to my mother). 

I know that I would, when I was left to my devices, watch the same video over, and over, and over again. I would recite facts that I found interesting to anyone who would listen. I was not shy, but I did not acknowledge the presence of strangers, I would not make eye contact or respond to anything they said to me until I had known them some time. I would repeat chunks of humours dialogue from movies and TV, mimicking the persons tone, facial expression and accent. 

I have two videos of me as a small child, one from my first birthday where I appear to be very uninterested in presents, with very little facial expression except for a few smiles, I place my hands over my ears when the bring the cake to me and start to sing happy birthday. The other is from when I am eight, and it is from my cousin's Christening, I am just holding my favourite toy and bobbing up and down on the spot which I suppose was meant to be dancing. 

My mother says that I had absolutely no behavioural problems, and my aunt says that I was a 'boring child' because I was so well behaved - conversely her child has extreme impulse control issues and behavioural problems. I had an extreme inability to convey my emotions, I would get upset, she would ask me what I was feeling/why and I would unable to speak. She would scold me for sulking, and I would go and sit in the shoe cupboard until I felt better. I also experienced extreme and unexplainable stomach pains and head aches, that my mother assumed were just ploys to get time off of school.

I was unable to dress myself until age ten, I could not brush my own hair until age 13 and only recently have I developed the skills to care for my personal hygiene. I had acceptable social skills until about age nine, although I exhibited sexually inappropriate behaviour with my peers - namely exposing myself to them which I do not attribute to possible autistic spectrum disorder, ability to socialise since then hasn't developed particularly well and I find it extremely difficult to make and maintain friendships. 

I am intelligent, but half the time I don't understand why people are talking about, particularly on emotional topics or when they uses figurative language or say something that they do not actually mean. 

I think I have an acceptable understanding of myself, it should be noted that this has been developed through many, many hours of thought dissection, and contemplative reflections and all of my knowledge of myself and other people has been gained through intellectual analysis and extrapolation. 

I know that without meeting and me, and without having diagnostic qualifications it cannot be said with any definitive conviction whether or not I have an Autistic Spectrum Disorder. However, I would like input as to whether it is with the realm of reasonable possibility that I am on the spectrum. 

Here are the possible explanations for my behaviour so far as I am aware (I would be very interested if people could offer alternative explanations:- 

  1. I have an Autistic Spectrum Disorder, and the symptoms of this have been exacerbated by my upbringing. 
  2. I have an Autistic Spectrum Disorder, and the symptoms of this have been masked by my upbringing. 
  3. I do not have an Autistic Spectrum Disorder, and the symptoms I display are purely the result of my upbringing and personal disposition.
  4. I have a neurological disorder/personality disorder or mental condition that is mimicking some symptoms of an Autistic Spectrum Disorder and that my childhood behaviour can be attributed solely to my upbringing. 
  5. I have no neurological disorder/personality disorder, mental codition or pervasive developmental disorder, my symptoms are purely the result of my upbringing and personal disposition. 
Thank you for taking the time to read my long post (if you did, if you skipped straight to this I probably would also have done this). 
Parents
  • Even if you find you are not on the autistic spectrum, you have identified a number of problems or issues that might affect your studies at University.

    So one thing you might chose to do is make an appointment with the disability support team, either before you start university (say in September) or after you've started if you feel it might be beneficial.

    University leaves you to study in your own time but is quite strict on handing in assignments and the way they are set out. Teaching may be collective in large rooms or lecture theatres, or involve laboratory work or seminars. The teaching tends to be rather impersonal, compared to school, so although you may have access to a personal tutor, mostly you will be left to organise your own time. Nobody clocks what you are doing, as in a school environment, or has a go at you about your attentiveness (unless you've failed to hand in assessed work). So you can end up sleeping through lectures or not getting up early enough to go to any.

    So it might be useful to explore whether there are any difficulties you might have that might be considered disability derived, such as organisation, timekeeping, note taking, reading round a subject, learning etc. Consider, for example, whether you are affected by dyslexia which often accompanies Aspergers, and might affect your work even if ASD is not identified. They could then decide whether you needed an assessment.

    Also you describe difficulties with social understanding. University study often involves group work or cooperative projects and you might need to consider whether that presents difficulties. Also standing up in front of a group and giving an independent presentation.

    If you are going into university halls of residence or shared appartment accommodation, you could ask to see these before term starts to ascertain whether you would have any difficulties fitting in. Students like to be noisy, especially letting things go late evening or even during the night, and if you were living on a university campus you might find that difficult. Also, without wishing to generalise, students often rebel a fair bit as regards tidiness and cleanliness, so would that make you feel uncomfortable.

    Universities have mostly acquired reasonable understanding of autism support and related disabilities, so they provide a good opportunity to get advice and assessment.

Reply
  • Even if you find you are not on the autistic spectrum, you have identified a number of problems or issues that might affect your studies at University.

    So one thing you might chose to do is make an appointment with the disability support team, either before you start university (say in September) or after you've started if you feel it might be beneficial.

    University leaves you to study in your own time but is quite strict on handing in assignments and the way they are set out. Teaching may be collective in large rooms or lecture theatres, or involve laboratory work or seminars. The teaching tends to be rather impersonal, compared to school, so although you may have access to a personal tutor, mostly you will be left to organise your own time. Nobody clocks what you are doing, as in a school environment, or has a go at you about your attentiveness (unless you've failed to hand in assessed work). So you can end up sleeping through lectures or not getting up early enough to go to any.

    So it might be useful to explore whether there are any difficulties you might have that might be considered disability derived, such as organisation, timekeeping, note taking, reading round a subject, learning etc. Consider, for example, whether you are affected by dyslexia which often accompanies Aspergers, and might affect your work even if ASD is not identified. They could then decide whether you needed an assessment.

    Also you describe difficulties with social understanding. University study often involves group work or cooperative projects and you might need to consider whether that presents difficulties. Also standing up in front of a group and giving an independent presentation.

    If you are going into university halls of residence or shared appartment accommodation, you could ask to see these before term starts to ascertain whether you would have any difficulties fitting in. Students like to be noisy, especially letting things go late evening or even during the night, and if you were living on a university campus you might find that difficult. Also, without wishing to generalise, students often rebel a fair bit as regards tidiness and cleanliness, so would that make you feel uncomfortable.

    Universities have mostly acquired reasonable understanding of autism support and related disabilities, so they provide a good opportunity to get advice and assessment.

Children
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