Published on 12, July, 2020
Have you ever had that lightbulb moment when suddenly everything clicks into place and the muffled noise of life becomes crystal clear!
Well that was me about 12 months ago when my wife established that she was indeed “on the spectrum”...all the ‘emotional coldness’ and ‘heart of stone’ comments now seem a bit inappropriate!
I am starting to understand my very complex wife a little more with everything I read and discuss...it’s challenging sometimes, but Inhope this forum will provide me with some more insights into bei married to a highly intelligent, amazingly creative, deeply loyal and caring yet highly frustrating wife!
My first question as a newby is; Is there a forum when partners can chat to asks questions, seek advice etc?
I am not sure I am married to either of you, but who knows!?...I am regularly told that I don't concentrate enough!
So is is possible that you might of married one of us when you weren’t paying attention!
anyhow...clinic is open if you want some advice!
Well, firstly it’s lovely that you have acknowledged that your wife has fantastic attributes.
what are the challenges? Communication?, perceived emotional coldness?
I show my affection by “doing” for example... my husband has just come of hospital after a 4 month stint... he might feel that I don’t care...but I visited him every day, I sorted out his paperwork, I’m about to go and help him have a bath and get dressed. However I a man not like his NT daughter in that I found the hospital environment difficult, the change of routine a challenge, and not knowing when he was going to be discharged a rather upsetting “unknown”.
his daughter is happy and caring ..talks to the other patients with ease...i clam up. When I struggle my Aspie traits become more pronounced I also mask and camaflague when I’m thinking and feeling to “pass” but inside I’m like soup.
i also find it difficult to communicate my needs.
worth reading the Cynthia Kim’s site for an inside into Aspie women
https://musingsofanaspie.com
Btw... not emotionally cold...just keeping a lid on emotion... it’s all about keeping in control! Think of if as being like a gliding swan but furiously paddling under the water line!
To be honest any advice will do...its a minefield!
Advice on how to work out if I am married to you or advice on how to cope with you if I AM married to you...this just gets more confusing by the minute! ;-)