Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello my name is becky and im new here
Im 30 years old and i have known i am autistic since i was 12. I am having counselling to help me as i have not dealt with who i am as a person. I suffer with depression and im going through a rough patch. I see my autism as a bad part of my and i have only told a handful of people about me. I have a good friend who listens to me when im going through a bad patch.
I am intersted if anyone would like to talk and how you cope with life and have you got any tips?
Kind regards
Hello Rsxo,
Many thanks for the reply. How do you cope with the daily challenges of life? I am trying to look after myself, i having a lot of just about coping days and days when i want to cry all the time, to be left alone and im questioning who i am as a person.
Becky x
Hi Becky,
Welcome!x
Much love <3
Your welcome. Time is a good healer, but remember there are many people here to listen to anything you want to say, or just to pass the time chatting with. I find my social circle is incredibly small, also having an outlet like the forum is a huge bonus, and always something I come back to!
Stay well, and feel free to message if you ever need a chat!
Thanks daniel this is really helpful. I have started to write a daily diary of writing down my feelings and what has been happened through the day. I like walking and listening to music. I find talking about me really difficult and i hope with time and learning how to cope better with life better i will be able to look after myself and truly like who i am as a person.
Thank you
Becky
Hi Becky. That's a good question. I have some issues dealing with sudden emotions when confronted with out of my control change, and also some sensory shutdowns if I don't manage to stop it. I have been told about controlled breathing and how that can be very helpful. I have not managed to use it myself, though others recommend it highly. Often my wife will tell me to go have some time out, and I would say I do 1 of 3 things to relax and get my thoughts back together,
1. Walk my dog, usually in the woods by our house. I like the space and peace it gives me, whilst the dog lets me keep one foot in reality. Its good to remember how stress is such a small part of the world, and that nature seems to go on all around regardless.
2. I play guitar, and take myself away to the bedroom and sit and learn / play to myself. Often this results in one of my children coming in as they like music, and then going and getting an instrument of their own (They cannot really play yet but i'm working on that) and that is a nice way to remember I am part of a wider group of people
3. I put on my headphones and listen to something suitably transporting, whilst reading a book, usually fantasy or science fiction, where there are different rules / sciences that are different from these. My playlists are all around my favourite band 'Porcupine Tree' though that's personal preference, and my wife cannot stand them, hence the headphones.
All 3 seem to focus on letting the larger world of people and problems go, and then I can bring myself back to a comfortable state. I also have some anti anxiety meds I can take before or during something I find or may find cause an issue. They work quite well for me though. I have been far better since my diagnosis. I do know that post diagnosis you go through stages of emotions and that's normal. Try looking up the 'Fisher Change Curve'
https://www.c2d.co.uk/techniques/process-of-transition/
It is a good tool to use to know that some feelings are to be expected and ok!
Daniel
Hello daniel, thank you for emailing me. I went through an experince at work that has triggered alot of unresolved issues. I did not deal when i was told i was autistic, i shut down and stop being the person i was. I was a happy person and enjoyed life. I have let this hang over me and it has come and kicked me where it hurts. Im trying to see this as a good and positive about me, that is going to take time as im working on my issues with my counsellor.
There is a question i would like to ask you if thats ok? What do you find helps you when u have a meltdown. Im looking at what triggers me and trying to do things that help desolate the situation. I get quite upset with my self and do a lot of shouting, crying and hurting myself. I used to self harm and im worried that i will go down that road again. I have had some really dark days that i dont want to go through again.
If i can help you in any way, let me know. Im a good listener.
Many thanks
There are many people here who can share their feelings and experiences with you, and try and show you some light at the end of the tunnel. I'm 34 and diagnosed with Autism. I have also had lng parts of my life without a diagnosis where i have suffered from depression and anxiety. One thing I have learned that Autism is not a negative part of me, it's just a part of my dna, in the same way that my sense of humour is unique to me. Although I have gone through and still go through challenging times, I cannot imagine my brain not working the way it does.
If you have any questions I am happy to help answer, or share experiences, as I am sure many people in the forum will also. Its a great place to share thoughts and feelings and ask the questions you sometimes dont want to ask those around. Also the NAS website itself has a lot of useful articles and resources too!