Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi there
A little backstory... I am a mum of 2 boys there is a 16 yr gap between them. my oldest is 17 my younger child is 15 months old. I have had a lot of issues over the years and was not meant to be able to get pregnant but in March 2016 we found out we where. since then its been a rollercoaster. I was poorly through pregnancy, then little one was born struggling to breathe, then months of reflux and hernia in the belly button. Its just been one after another
Over the months with the little one, I was noticing small things like he doesn't look when his name is called (he does sometimes). he is dangling his dummy mainly in front of his face he is always hanging his dummy on cupboard or gate, when it doesn't stay he gets frustrated and bits the gate or cupboard. he is having a few outburst each day, resulting in him repeatedly banging his head, hitting me or trying to bite me. he wakes around with things on his head and gets really upset with certain noises. He has always made growling noises and always looks tired. some days he is wiped out and sleeps more some days he can run up and down the room. he has a certain corner in the living room he sits in but pushes people away whenever they stand there.
Part of me knows he has all the signs of autism but my family and partner say he is just bad-tempered., and I need to stop his behavior. when I tried to say my feelings I get told why am I wishing that on my child. I am feeling so awful right now and feel like I am overreacting. I have an amazing friend who I face time every day her son is autistic, and she approached me and told me she could see all the signs. that's before I said I had my feelings about him.
sorry for long post but I am just exhausted and I guess I just need to know i have support somewhere.
thx
gem
Hi Gem,
Wow. What a story. Sounds like you are one switched-on mum! Amazing!
Despite my years of learning things from books(!) you should go with your own instincts. As his Mum you really do know him best of all.
I don't think you are overreacting at all. Keep reading, and try to keep an open mind. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. That is all any of us can do, really.
Take it from me - a forty-something "only just realised I'm on the spectrum" - if you are indeed correct, spotting this early and getting the support you all need can make all the difference. Your lad will turn out far less "messed up" if at least one of his parents is not in denial.
Best of luck.
hi DongFeng5
thank you for your reply. yes, reading is what I am doing at the moment getting as much information as I can. I am also doing a log of his behaviors and if I see any triggers. my only concern is finding out what is wrong with my son and then finding and getting the support he needs to live his life.
sorry to hear you have only just realized you're on the spectrum but at least now you may be able to get the help you need if any is required.
again thank you so much for your reply means a lot
best of luck.
You might find this video helpful. Obviously the material is written with teachers of school age kids in mind.
https://youtu.be/rPD_yzMHJls
Watch out for the (impossible to read) diagram at 13m27s. If you listen to the audio you should be able to figure it out.
Now think about what you are being advised w.r.t. "stopping behaviour". If you're right about your son being on the spectrum, focussing on behaviour would be trying to fix the symptom, but not the cause, which of course relates to cognitive issues.
Next hint: I passed on my genes. Twice. Both boys, different mothers. One lad is roughly the age of your eldest, the other is slightly older than your youngest. Both of mine have either been diagnosed as on the spectrum or are now showing enough signs that a medical professional is prepared to allude to it on paper.
It might be worthwhile taking a look at your little one's family tree, focussing particularly on any cantankerous or eccentric males...?
thank you so much, I have subscribed to channel so I will be able to get more information as well. I need to get as much as I can right now to help my son if it is autism. WHich I do believe it is.
I don't intend to stop his behavior one bit. I want to learn how to help him. my family and everyone else can either support me or leave me alone as my son may require a lot of time a patience from people around him and that's exactly what he will get. if they don't like it then they can leave us alone and keep out of our lives.
sounds harsh but my goal has and always will be to look after my kids no matter what situation they in.
The family tree will be hard but I will try to look through as we have a lot of family on my mum's side we just don't know or see and same on partners. although he won't help as he thinks I am just making it up. and that my son just bad-tempered. want to thank you for helping me means a lot. I am so grateful to you for your time.