Hi everyone, I'm new here. I'm Ben's mum.
I went to see my Bens psychiatrist at camhs this week. I wanted to know the results of his asd assessment. I was told that he scored high enough on the ADOS assessment for them to say he is on the autistic spectrum and that he would get a diagnosis of aspergers syndrome. I just have to wait for an appointment to go back with Ben to get the formal diagnosis.
It has been a very difficult 4 years since I asked my GP for a referral for assessment in which I have had 3 voluntary hospital admissions due to post-natal depression. Schools havent listened to me about my concerns and so Ben has had 2 changes of school that shouldnt have been necessary. My partner left with my 2 year old son because Bens meltdowns were so severe he didnt want my 2 year old to witness it anymore. I was too depressed to fight this. My ex-husband (Bens Dad) has blamed me for Ben's difficulties and threatened to take him off me. (I left bens Dad when Ben was 2 because he was violent and made us frightened). So I went to the family court to get a residence order for ben to stop him from making these threats and upsetting ben and I.
The thing I want advise on is that during the court proceedings a report was written by a camhs worker that I had seen. She came to see Ben and I last year. She arrived 30 mins late, by which time ben had locked himself in the bathroom and was in meltdown. She didnt apologise for being late,and, of course, said that the appointment couldnt go ahead because of bens safety. I was upset and desperate for some help and I communicated that to her by snapping at her and telling her she hadnt helped at all.
Her interpretation of this day in the report for the court was that when she had said that bens difficulties were due to my weak parenting skills I became affronted. She accused me of trying to get ben diagnosed so that I could claim DLA for him.
I was horrified, disgusted and hurt by this. She had not told me that she thought my parenting skills were weak. But she did fire random questions like "what obsessions does he have?" I have not had the opportunity to say this to her because she never contacted me again. I had to ring another worker to find out what would happen with Ben's assessment 3 weeks later because no-one had contacted me.
When I saw the psychiatrist at camhs this week and he gave me the likely diagnosis he told me that he would ask the specialist asd worker to attend our diagnosis appoinmtnet. This is the women who I wrote about above!!!!!!!
Please tell me what to do.
I dont trust her, infact I despise her. And I am going to have to go through probably the most difficult/meaningful/ emotional appointment that Ben and I have ever had to go to with HER witnessing it.
4 years ago, I worked as a social worker at another CAMHS service and had a similar role to hers supporting kids on the spectrum and their parents. That is when I first realised that Ben was very similar to the children I worked with. I hope that I did this with the compassion and warmth you should expect. At our next appointment I need someone to demonstrate those qualities to me and Ben.
Somehow I dont think we will get it.
I know that the psychiatrist wants her to work with ben and I would never stand in the way of him getting help from anyone. However I am so worried about all of this and shouldnt have to be.
Please help.
Thanks x
Sending strength and Hugs your way. You can do it.!