Second opinion?

NAS18906 said:

In my opinion, anxiety in autism is mainly caused by living in a world that makes little sense to the individual. If one does not understand how social interaction works then one will have a series of misunderstanding, disagreements and tellings off that reduce the individual to an anxious state because no matter what they do it seems that nobody appreciates what one is doing.

In addition to that, the autistic world is a state of isolation that does not learn what normal thinking patterns are. The thinking patterns that develop in this isolation might be similar to being "stir crazy".

The autistic person needs to be coaxed (gently) out of that state by people with some understanding of what the problems are and what needs to be taught to the person to enable them to do things in a more socially acceptable manner. We have to be taught things that most people do intuitively, we can't be natural communicators but we can learn and be trained to get some skills that bring us into a better balance with the world at large.

So, you do not try and reason with the anxiety itself but you do try and reason with the underlying problems that lead to that anxiety.

All of the above is only the opinion of an adult with autism who has had to deal with anxiety and depression that arose prior to and since my diagnosis.

I am in close agreement with you.  Social interaction is full of unwritten and unspoken rules, that most people know instinctively.  But autistic people are unaware of these rules and they only become aware of them when they break them.  So they have to be taught explicitly what these rules are and how to apply them.  One unwritten/unspoken rule is that in social circles, one never talks about these rules because people think you're strange.

One problem I have is in deciding how/when or whether to join a group.  I usually get it wrong.  When I try to join a group or conversation, people make it clear that I am not welcome and "get lost, just go away" etc.  When I don't join groups I get accused of being snobbish or thinking that I'm too good to mix with them.  This problem with social mixing has been with me my entire school and working life.

NAS18906 said:

In my opinion, anxiety in autism is mainly caused by living in a world that makes little sense to the individual. If one does not understand how social interaction works then one will have a series of misunderstanding, disagreements and tellings off that reduce the individual to an anxious state because no matter what they do it seems that nobody appreciates what one is doing.

In addition to that, the autistic world is a state of isolation that does not learn what normal thinking patterns are. The thinking patterns that develop in this isolation might be similar to being "stir crazy".

The autistic person needs to be coaxed (gently) out of that state by people with some understanding of what the problems are and what needs to be taught to the person to enable them to do things in a more socially acceptable manner. We have to be taught things that most people do intuitively, we can't be natural communicators but we can learn and be trained to get some skills that bring us into a better balance with the world at large.

So, you do not try and reason with the anxiety itself but you do try and reason with the underlying problems that lead to that anxiety.

All of the above is only the opinion of an adult with autism who has had to deal with anxiety and depression that arose prior to and since my diagnosis.

I am in close agreement with you.  Social interaction is full of unwritten and unspoken rules, that most people know instinctively.  But autistic people are unaware of these rules and they only become aware of them when they break them.  So they have to be taught explicitly what these rules are and how to apply them.  One unwritten/unspoken rule is that in social circles, one never talks about these rules because people think you're strange.

One problem I have is in deciding how/when or whether to join a group.  I usually get it wrong.  When I try to join a group or conversation, people make it clear that I am not welcome and "get lost, just go away" etc.  When I don't join groups I get accused of being snobbish or thinking that I'm too good to mix with them.  This problem with social mixing has been with me my entire school and working life.