aspergers and adhd

my daughter had a assesment at her nursery  they think she is aspergers and adhd im in a daily constant battle with her and have to negotiate with a nearly 3 year old ! shes voilent and a lot of the time unresponsive  does not listen or comminicate with us as i feel my other 3 children did at her age . she hits out spits bits and kicks all of the family .. she grabs anything to hand and throws it anywhere she feels  smashing 2 tvs in 4 weeks ! she vary rarely asks for kisses or cuddles and has hurt 3 children at her nursery one quite badly ! she does not make freinds at school im unsure if this is becuase there scared of what she will do ! she says her friend is the teacher . just struggling to try and get my head around everythingits all about sienna and its siennas world she wont do anything she doesnt want to do and if we say no or its nt to her liking we have mega melt downs .. is there anything i can be doing to help her ? shes down to see a pediatriction and speech therpist althou she can talk pretty well just not really communicate wth others she talks about her and what she wants to do and what we say is irrelavant !