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Scared of dogs after multiple bad experiences

Bonsai

My 11 yr old Aspergers and ADHD daughter has started having a meltdown at the sight of a dog, even when on lead on the other side of the street. Walking home through the park a dog bothered her and her sister one day and she was so traumatised it's had a lasting effect. I don't know what to do bout it next, it's like she needs hypnosis to get past it, I've tried all sorts! Dog owners appear to be unsympathetic and just say dog won't hurt you which isn't much help. After another meltdown over the weeke on a dog encounter I actually said ' she's autistic' which actually made the lady move the dog away without further attempts to get her to pat it! 

  • Thank you so much for your helpful replIes! I think I might approach the GP with this as it is not a totally new thing, it's got a lot worse lately and I think it's going to stop us going out due to her anxiety. 

    we did try the befriending thing once before, but she quickly forgets it. We live in a rural area so encounter dogs on leads most mornings, not one of those dogs has ever come within touching distance, but still she gets in a state when we see them. 

    I recently read that there is a new treatment for phobias on the NHS, using virtual reality to introduce situations, as her world is electronics it might be a way to get her on board. I'll see how I get on with the GP.

  • After the initial stages Ferret suggests (dog teddies, TV) could your daughter gradually befriend, under your supervision, one particular dog that is known to be good with children?  Perhaps a puppy or small dog belonging to a friend, neighbour or relative?  Size is of course no guarantee - even tiny terriers can be nippy - but she'd probably feel more comfortable with a smaller dog.

    While your daughter's negative reactions are perfectly understandable, they will of course be quickly picked up by any dogs who may come near her and this is likely to put the animals into a defensive or even aggressive mode, worsening the situation.

    I grew up on a 1960s council estate, where it was normal for many dogs (though not ours) to wander alone through streets, gardens and children's play areas!  Although that wasn't a nice situation - not least for the dogs - it did mean that I quickly gained an intuitive sense of how to behave with dogs and which ones to trust.  Nowadays, when I go for walks in fields where dogs are unleashed, unfamiliar ones will often rush up to me (despite the protestations of worried owners!) and I just greet them as if they are old friends - which some of them have actually become.

    I admit I've not so far had a really nasty experience with a dog and - as someone who suffers from almost every common phobia - I can empathise with the trauma.  But, having had closer canine and feline friendships than human ones as a boy, I now usually feel more comfortable with dogs and cats than people.